Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers WAW left on Independence Day and not communicating

I wasn't suggesting it didn't, but I thought that maybe asking this will help put it in perspective of not getting an immediate result/reaction, but just doing the right thing.

I personally think that you should send a greeting in some form. Perhaps less joyful than usual but still from your true heart.

But nothing more, no additional emotional messages.

You have to start understanding the "detachment" as it is known here. It is not an absolute in engineering terms. If you like the term "pseudo" then fine, you can call it that.

It is a perception of you to her, but in the same time it is a preparation for yourself of face the worst - the reality that you will not succeed of inviting her back into your life.

Once you accept the worst, you'll realize that it is not that bad at all. If she catches up to your "detachment" she may stop running and you will be ready to start the new chapter with wisdom.

One thing is for sure. While WAS is running around there scared and confused we LBS's here have plenty of time to grow, wise up and be ready for their return, so what happened to us will not be allowed to be happen again.

We can do that for US.

Integrity, courage and honor.

If you graduate from this college women will love you forever.

ris,

I don't know...I hope that we are together in two years. There appears to be two approches here. First of all I am not detached and still trying to figure that out for myself.

The first path is that I let her go last week so staying true to my word I would let her go by noy sending the Bd email. MY wife is ahead in detaching I know that and I have been told that I have to catch up...so this is visually to her catching up.

The second path is that I have an opportunity to maybe thaw her out a bit and maybe begin a dialogue in the near future by sending the Bd email.

I am perplexed and just need guidance. My heart says send the email, but my mind says No that I have to find a way to stop her running away (I know mind reading).

There is nothing wrong to send a b-day card to your WAS.

Just like there is nothing wrong to send a b-day card to the slimy smelly guy in a cubicle next to you who's farts annoy you daily.

It's a nice thing to do and it does not require any response.

Stop being an Engineer. (I can say that)

You are already setting deadlines for accomplishments. I know - that's what we do for living.

She is not a project or an airplane engine.

All you have control over is yourself.

So set your own goals.

When will HIH be detached? Has HIH received the specifications to "detachment". Can HIH follow the specs and complete the project within the given timeline.

You can do it. (oops that's not my line)

pookie,

Thanks for the clearer definition for detachment. I am getting to the point that I would be okay if the worst happens. I really have no choice since I have not spoken with her.

The right thing to do is send an email Bd greeting with maybe humor (I baked a cupcake for you, but couldn't send through email) or something to that effect. However. if I want to demonstrate to her that I am detaching from her then I wouldn't send a thing. Still the paradox continues. What is right vs what I should do?...probably do the right thing even though it may delay or hinder any future progress (I know mind reading).

You just answered it. It is a virtual cupcake without sending the smell or taste.

pookie,

Sorry I at least have an office so I can self fumagate.

Cook the cupcake, take it to your office and type the email b-day greeting while eating it.

ris,

I am not expecting a result/reaction. Acknowledge her Bday to warm her up a bit to thaw her out so in the future she might communicate.