I'm confused. How did you join in 2007. Are you actually "Mrs. Freespirit"?
Yes, I am...a freespirit who has been married to an abusive man since 1999.
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That is pretty wild stuff. I think Greek put up a thread last week about "perspective", in which she pondered the question: "how would the WAW's story differ if we could see that side too?". And here you are.
A WAW (which I am tecnically NOT) but for "sake of arguement" the difference is that I am just trying to tell my dh MY perspective and he will not receive it as MY perspective... I am "wrong" and disrespectd and discounted....that is abuse.
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I am actually sorry for your experiences. I believe that you did the right thing for your child by getting him away from the abuse, yet I know it was a hard thing to do.
Thanks and it was best for him (our son and me) and even my dh said that he is doing well with his daughter from his first marriage...age 19.
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You guys are still married. If nothing else, it will help you communcate better and that will do nothing but be positive for your kid.
Yes, we are "still married" but it feels like a dead marriage; but I hope and will do my best to maintain a good "parenting relationship with him"...he is not the attentive parent (does not help son with homework), he is only trying to be the "most popular " one (buys gifts, etc.)
Hello Freespirit, I came across your post on another site you use to be on and i am still on. I thought i would check in with you here to see if your H has made any progress. Im sorry but as i read it doesnt look like he has made the first step. My apologies to you for him not taking that first step. I have been on that site now for almost 15 months, and attend the conference calls etc. Basically continuing with the program. I have not had a VAC incident in 11 months or so. I have not missed anytime with my son, i have been with him more time than a alotted which has been a blessing. My W had called me and asked to reconcile right before Thanksgiving, but backed off about 3 weeks later and decided to file. I am hurt but i dont blame her. I am aware and sorry about the damage i have done, adding to how her first husband abused her physically. I feel bad for my SS as well, her mother suggested he be sent away to a military school. He had expressed a desire several times to her and I that he wanted us to attend family counseling and wanted to be a family again. I will not assume why she sent him away, as he is not my bio son, but i do feel his pain. One thing I am sure of, this behaviour will stop with me. My son will not be exposed from me. As you know, sometimes the victim learns that behaviour and continues with it. She lashes out at me in anger alot, and i understand why, but it does not trigger me any longer. My relationships at work, and church, etc have grown by leaps and bounds. My employees feel safe around me now and they affirm that with me all the time. It does hurt that my wife doesnt trust me in that way any longer, but i do understand why. I just wanted to check in with you. It sounds like you are doing Ok, i am sorry that your H has not decided to take that first step.
Blessings
M - 42 W - 41 Married 9 years July 24, 2010 WAW moved out 8-9-10 2nd Marriage for Both S 2 SS 13 from W first Marriage
