I am so sorry for all the grief you are suffering right now. The car accident is just too much -- I really, really hope you are all okay. If you feel anything wrong, do not hesitate to go back to your doctor, right away. I hope the boys are faring better. I thank God no one was more seriously injured.
Your H... he is being so idiotically foolish... To be messing with pornography after all this -- it's just insanely stupid. He has a major problem and he needs help. Porn addiction is a serious matter, one akin to other psychological addictions.
I know you have been trying so hard to meet him halfway, to work things out. I hear your frustration level rising beyond measure. But what do you want to do? Have you worked anything out yet in your mind for trying to resolve this? Such as IC for your H?
I am glad no one was hurt what a terrible thing to go through. I can't believe that your H would take a picture off of the television onto his phone that seems desperate. What is worse is that he is trying to make like it was no big deal even after what you have been through. He needs some serious help. Has he mentioned going for counseling? I can't believe that he didn't bother coming home till 9:30 knowing what happened. Man my H is screwed up but i think he would have come home.
We need to talk can I call you this week? JAK
Last edited by JoJo's circus; 06/29/1005:12 PM.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Nc~ thanks, everyone is ok that's what is most important. I will definately bring the boys if sometthing else comes up. Right now S7 has major poison Ivy on him, this is the second day on steroids. Poor baby. He seems better today though so I think we are off to the beach.
What's pathetic is, he didn't rent the movie on tv because I would have known it the bill showing up on the credit card and I do all the bills. So it was actually a Commerical for a movie. He did this when he was out of town.
So actually about a week after all this happend he did mention to me that he would be willing to give me space if I needed it. Frankly that would just upset the boys and as long as he is working, I have space with just them.
I think im numb at this point, I don't know what to think. He is incredibly selfish and self centered.
Things have been quiet though, because he has been working.
Jak, i'll be free all day today and Friday. I don't know if he is working tomorrow or not.
Thanks for the support!
I'll be ok, i always am.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Poison Ivey too? On top of everything else you are dealing with? Wow, I really feel for you, Irish. So much at once. I wish I could help.
Big *HUGS* for you. Thoughts and prayers too.
(I really wish your H would finally get his head out of his proverbial rectum long enough to see how badly he is failing everyone who matters most to him and take action. Man, what foolishness!)
Sorry to read about your troubles of late. I know car wrecks are scary. Last one I had, we weren't divorced yet and I called H because S17 was with me. He was with OW at her house which is about 40 minutes away. We weren't hurt but shook up. He didn't think there was any reason to come out but eventually did. Maybe the divorce later that month a bit easier to get though with him being such an arse!
Great Big Hugs. (((((Irish)))))
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
we had a long talk last night, until 1am. Lots of things were said, all of which were straight forward and to the point.
I won't say word for word, (too long obviously) but He is definately struggling with inner demons and I am now actively looking for someone for us to go and talk with.
Its not me, its him, he admitted so. He told me that he loves me more than anything, and the stupid things he does, he doesn't know why he does them and that his intensions are not to hurt me. That the kids and I are the only thing important to him. He also said he knows that words are empty but said how he felt about me and if we need a doctor to tell me what I need to do then so be it.
I feel very optimistic, I told him We will do everything we can to work this out and that I'm not one for giving up and he said he can't lose me..
So that's about it. I am physically and emotionally drained today. But im hoping this is a start of something better. I do love him so much, It kills me to go through this.
Thanks all.
T
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I am sure you must indeed feel drained, talking until late about such serious matters like that. But it sounds extremely positive. He is now admitting he has a problem and is wanting to do something about it, even counseling. That is huge! It is a big step in the right direction.
I trust you are encouraged at least somewhat, as I know I am myself for your own sake. There's still a long ways to go, but we all know the saying about the start of every journey...
Well things are the same no better or worse. Work has totally consumed H for the most part. We are having trouble getting paid from vendors so the money is so very tight right now. Had to borrow some from my mom,and now we are just waiting for some to come in.
It takes its toll, but H hasn't been home hardly at all, so I guess that is the saving grace for us not to be at eachothers goat, especially since we are both under so much stress right now.
The boys are great, getting so big, and I can't believe that school starts next week. S4 is going back into preschool but 5 days a week and S7 is headed for 2nd grade. This summer has been so crazy, I don't know where it went. Did we even get a summer??
It will be bittersweet when school starts, I won't miss the bickering between them, but I will miss them greatly.
We have a vacation schedule at the end of the month but it looks like that may get cancelled because of money *ugh*. H does work so hard, and it seems like we can never catch a break.
When he is here things have been ok, Since I've had to remove some benefits off our insurance, we haven't been able to go to therapy which stinks. I don't have the cash to be paying anything out of pocket, so this to will have to wait.
But Im doing ok, aside from money issues, my boys are healthy and happy and that is all I can ask for right now.
Hope you all are well.
T
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Hi, Irish. Glad you had a good summer, even if you can't remember it. It looked to me like you went to the beach quite a lot! I hope the boys have a good year in school. I do love that back to school through Halloween time period, you know, before winter sets in.
I continue to hope and pray that your H figures things out and your MR gets squarely back on track. And that all of you can catch a break, like you say.
I know what you mean about the Summer being nearly gone. Personally, I don't really feel like I got to truly enjoy it before it zipped by. My two S's, however, must have enjoyed their full measure of Summer, because just today the both of them were talking with anticipation of Fall and Winter, already.
