Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers To Tell or Not to Tell

And let's not even talk about the statistics regarding chromosomal abnormalties at my age. I've been stressing about this the last few days and finally bought a test this morning. I was very stressed this month and I'm still hoping the test is wrong, but last time around I became bloated right away and the same thing has happened. So i bought the test and now feel very torn about the whole thing.

The problem with my H is even if he reacts okay when i tell him, chances are he will come back a day or two later and verbally attack me. And just when things were really looking up between us.

Boundaries

Part of what is troubling me about telling him is that I'm not supposed to talk about his lawyer, the M, his separate account, but I should tell him about this? I feel like I'm having a bad dream. I love my DD, and even a year or two ago I probably would have embraced the idea of another child, but the timing is soooooooo wrong. And there are the health concerns.

LRT,

I know you're scared of his reaction, but it's his child too. He has a right to know. Even if it miscarries, he should know.

Breathe

You will decide what is right for you and the timing. In the meantime you have to de-stress. You know what works for you.

LRT,

I agree with PH that he should know.

Take some time to get over the initial feelings you have to make the best decision possible for you.

It will be okay.

Thank you for the support. As you can imagine, I'm feeling a bit alone in all of this.

When I was pg with DD at 40, the doctors were amazed and telling me how lucky I am. Now they will probably look at me like I have three heads. This isn't supposed to happen.

I agree with LSG. I'm relatively schooled in fertility/infertility, and statistically that POS test is accurate. I would assume that you are pg and take some time to adjust to the idea yourself. I don't think you have to tell him right away (I don't mean wait 6 months, but one month would be ok). Take care of yourself. I hope the bloat goes away and you don't have to face m/s at all. (((hugs)))

Even without all of our M issues, childbirth at age 46 isn't something I ever anticipated. This is just crazy.

I can barely imagine being a new father at my age (46) but my wife is 36, so not outside the realm of possibility. Well, since there's no X in our sx life, it is outside the realm...

One step at a time. Breathe. Slow is good.