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Well, that being the case, I think this is a "cheeseless tunnel" at least for now.

I do have to keep "pursuing the pink".lol. This may get me no where, but I have never been a "pursuer" and it may be part of the problem.

Course, when I am baraged with curses when I do pursue, that may be why I am deterred!!lol.

Any other "exes" out there in the world? My sis-in-law is now married to an old friend of my H's. She married an alcoholic and left him after 2 years. Then she was alone raising her son for 14-15 years. This guy's W decided to have an affair while he was away in Afganistan serving our country. He left her and casually asked my H one day how his sister was doing. My H told him that she was D'd, never dated, and was raising her S. He showed up a couple of weeks later, they sat and talked, and in like 2 weeks they were engaged.

I hope she is happy--I haven't spoken to her in 8 months. I know this sitch has her really down. She is the one that helped me SO much during the last bomb. Now it's my other sis-in-law's turn to help. Guess I am taking turns.

So anyway, that is a "happily ever after" story about rekindling old flames. She was completely dateless for years, too. I know the guy she has really was impressed with that.

Ok, a lovely 180 filled morning for me this a.m. Meaning I had to be a bit of a bitch!lol.

So the pink tile debacle continues. I came home from church yesterday and my H is watching ANOTHER 2-3 hours of home shows. This time it is a bathroom being retiled! How appropriate!

So I ask him, not too bitchy but rather friendly, "hey, you watch a million of these shows--why not just do the tile in their ourselves? It doesn't even look that hard and I think they give classes at Lowes--that would be kind of fun actually!"

So he's like "Don't. Just don't start". So I get a bit exasperated and say then WHY DO YOU WATCH these things! What does it matter anyway--you don't have to live here--it doesn't have to be perfect! (ugh, him and his perfectionism!)

He just ignores me so I go back to painting. The bathroom, other than the tile, looks awesome.

So this a.m. I ask him to take S to school because they have a science project to turn in that needs a bit of help. And he is not back yet so I am like, did he go to his parents? (he doesn't have to work until Wednesday).

So I call him (180) and ask his plans. He is getting his hair cut (I need to do same--I have not had a hair cut in 8 months!) and will be back. Then he says, "look, I don't need you givimg me a hard time all the time about the tile. I wouldn't have re-done the bathroom that way--I would have started with the tile and then done the rest. I think once you remove the tile you are giong to see that the wallboard has leaks and needs to be replaced. Then you'll have to repaint."

I "see" the perfect opportunity and I WENT for it!!

I said "GREAT!! You have all that information just swirling around in your brain and you say NOTHING. Thanks a LOT!! I had to do what I had to do--there was a leaky vanity and sink and that was my priority--making it a safe place to be for our S. He and I are VERY proud of how that bathroom looks. I'm sorry you can not take any pride in anything that any one else does around here and have to keep all that information to yourself. So GREAT--there is a leak!! PERFECT!!

THAT TILE NEEDS TO BE REPLACED!!!

And with that I hung up! (Ok, above was said in a stern, not too angry but firm tone. I was in control the entire time. This is definitely NOT my wimpish personality!!)lol.

So of course he calls back--he's going to argue my "truth dart" but I am not falling for it. He gets to have that thought swirl in his brain for a while!

I'm heading out--need to GAL quick before he gets back so he can think about it. And think I'm angry.lol.

Actually, I do think I'll go to Lowes and check out the classes over there--fun!

I am feeling SOOOO proud of myself right now!! yeah me!!

Good for you!! It feels so good to stand up for yourself after having been walked on. Home Depot may have a class too. Knock that pink tile out...so proud of you.

kat

There's a forum with some really good DIY tile advice (beyond what you can get at Lowes or HD). Google Tile Your World, it's the John Bridge forum. I haven't been there in a while, but I found people there that knew what they were talking about, and were happy to help.

((((((Laura))))))

too bad you can't post pictures of your bathroom. i would love to see what it looks like now.


you're having too much fun with your sitch. but the 180 was a good move!


*high five*
i should think about signing up for a class at home depot or lowes. i will be looking at putting up a backsplash in my kitchen, installing bathroom fixtures (ie. towel bars, toilet paper holders)

i've been looking for new ideas to GAL. home depot classes sounds like something i need.

Oh, my, look at you guys cheering me on!! Thanks Kat, Jeff and D4ML--you guys are the best!!

OK, Just now had a blow up with H over the credit card. I put my L's fees on the credit card and the bill came in yesterday. I was glad I was acting pissed at H yesterday, as he was really kind about the money--"how much do we need to put in, etc".

So this a.m. he takes money to the personal account and puts in enough to cover the CC. Just now he calls and he doesn't want to pay the CC, just wants to do the minimum balance. I tell him, why don't you pay everything other than the $5000 for my attorney's fees. (I HATE paying interest to the CC company!) and he's like, OK.

So then I guess I started in on his not "helping" and he says "I don't want to pay for the bathroom I am leaving" and I say "GREAT!! Thanks for leaving this on S and ME to FIX!! He goes off, I go off ( It's been a long time since I didn't validate very well--I admit it--I just let him have it!)--I was floundering for some truth dart to throw at him and hang up and never got anything in my brain in time and he said something and hung up. GRRRR. He "won"!! I see how that works now!

So I tried to send a text and I guess he has blocked my number?? I haven't ever sent him a text so I don't know...

Anyway, I guess this is just par for the course. I did throw at him that his S wonders if he even loves him--which--My poor S told me this the other day and it was ME telling him NO, your dad is nuts for you and loves you so much. Of course they wonder.

So I went to Lowes and HD and did get to look at the site that Jeff posted and part of me is up for the challenge, and part of me is just so sick of living with 3 disgusting bathrooms. If I take money and just do it it will probably incite a war. But I am debating that right now....

I got a "have a nice day!" this a.m.!!

Some other things--he picked up S from school yesterday at 4, but it is getting later and later and I call and no one answers. So finally they show up around 5:15 and I say "Why didn't you answer the phone, why are you so late, and why don't you have dinner with you??" Usually if they get home later there is some communication about dinner, etc. and there was nothing.

Then I say--and why have you blocked me from texting?? And he is completely confused (he is totally phone illiterate.lol) and I show him what happens if I text him--I get this weird message about needing a 10 digit code and my message comes instantly back. He is very subdued and "I wouldn't do that" and I have him text me some gibberish (he can't figure this out--he barely types) and it goes right through. So then I reply to HIS text and it goes through. He is apologizing about not having his phone on him, and didn't think about dinner, etc.

So I tell him, right, S is going to start his HWork and YOU are going to go pick us up a pizza. Which he promptly aggrees to and I send him on his way. lol. While he is out I text "Thanks". And when he got home I ask if he got a text and he says" yes, I did and I read it and you're welcome".lol.

OK, total 180 here. This guy just never, ever does this kind of stuff.

Why do I have to figure out NOW that I have so much more power than I realized?? Better late than never I guess....

And the "bitchier" I am the better??? This is just N.U.T.S.!

So this a.m. H is up early again--when he is stressed he can't sleep. And I check the history and he has read an article this a.m. about the 5 home repairs you DON'T put off.

And number 3 is MOLD!!! And how bad it is!!! Wear a mask, etc!

This has me completely freaked out! I have GOT to do something about this!!!

I have EVERYONE telling me to just get it done. One of the things H said was "spray the tile" (meaning don't replace it but just spray to change color). That costs SOME kind of money and I can come up with the rest. I don't care--I'll get HIS family in on it!! I could ask them to contribute to S's replace tile fund or something. This is SUPER UNHEALTHY!!

Maybe you are finally speaking in a language he can understand? Just guessing. If you aren't playing the doormat anymore, he can't walk all over you. Are you feeling that he likes you better this way?

Hop on that tile. Nothing to play around with.

hugs, kat

Mold is a hot button word... there's mold, and there is MOLD! I am not expert in knowing which is which. But, still, a problem to be addressed. If you have a mold issue, the tile is the least of the problems, you may well need to replace what's under it. If it's "just" on the surface, you probably have a lot more options.

It could also be that he's trying to look good for an impending D. I'm sorry but my H has done a 180 too now that I'm talking to a L. Perhaps he wants to subdue you to not have such a big fight. I could be projecting, but I think that's what is going on with me and it would fit with your H too.

And mold. Yea BAD health problem. Please do it - whatever it takes. For the health of you and your S.