I had been talking to his mom a lot, telling her I still wanted the marriage to work. He said today that 'talking to her wasn't going to change anything' and when I said I know he kind of chuckled. I said 'do I want to save our marriage? Yes. Do I want to be married to the person you are right now? No.' and he just made this unbelieving smirk, which I understand. I don't act as if enough. I can't find the balance.
Seriously? Why would you say that to him... ? You are volunteering to be a DOORMAT when you do that.
Why are you TALKING to him at ALL?
I could have told you he would dismiss you before you said a syllable of that... You don't need to act as if... you need to act like you are LEAVING...
STOP pursuing him right now, he's just using that to humiliate you and laugh at you
Originally Posted By: Ihavehope
We should be split by the end of the month. I really just think he is done. I don't think that there is anything I can do. I am sitting on the fence about the affair which makes me' confused and go back and forth between being his friend and being distant
STOP worrying about HIM being done or not... that is NOT RELEVANT right now..
I tell EVERYONE this... STOP making decisions right now... the focus is on YOU and your children getting to SAFETY.. THAT is what you focus on... STOP worrying about HIM being DONE... you are letting him CONTROL your MIND
Gah. I know you are right. It's just too much. I lose a lot of money if I rock the boat, and he knows this. I don't know why I tell him anything. I don't know why i can't keep my mouth shut other than i can't take the arguing over money and the kids. I didn't want to go to court and he will take me. I can't afford it. I can't really afford a lawyer. He's doing everything he can for me' now but i can't pay for a divorce.
I'm scared he will reall screw me' financially if we do go to court. I guess I'll be losing my home and putting myself into dire straights financially but it will save my spirit, right?
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
I think that's part of the problem. I don't know what to say. I already know I will get more this way because he is willing to give me more than a court will give. I still need to get down to job and family services on Tuesday but what would a social worker do for me?
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
No where to go. I can get him out but I can't. My friends are in no position to take on 4 people, even temporarily.
Still not sure what a social worker would do? Are you talking about finding resources I might not know about? I am pretty aware of what is available, and the time frames it takes to get them done. I need to get it all started. I go look at another plae today. It's smaller than where I am now and more expensive, but it's not in the apartment complex I'm in now.
And it won't require help from him to live there, other than the help to move.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
If none, then TALK to one to roll the dice.. you would be surprised how much they can help sometimes... she may not be able to help at all, but I think its worth exploring.
I will ask when I go down on tuesday. Like I said, I have an appointment to look at an apartment today at 4 that will work. Just have to figure out how to pay rent and security and rent a truck and and and. Ugh this sucks so hard lol.
On a positive note, even though it's dumb, every interaction does push me' a little more. I know for m own sanity I need out. I just can't see when he leaves and when he comes home anymore. It's inhumane. And he doesn't get it which is kind of scary.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
The apartment was nice but sooooo small. And for the money I could get better. I'm honestly thinking about keeping my home and just making him leave. That's ok, right?
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
