Ugh. The more this goes on the worse it gets. We had a good day together on Friday (was our babys birthday). He went out for a couple of hours after we all went to bed but came home.
Then, he left yesterday around 2 and went to her house around 6-7. He just texted me this morning to ask when I needed him home (I have plans tonight). I guess he's going to stay there, maybe have breakfast or something. The more this goes on the more he hurts me. I can't move out fast enough. I don't even know how to set boundeies without him being interested in our marriage. I can't ask him not to do this even though it is disrespectful, since he still denies everything and doesn't care about my feelings at all. How can we go from having a nice time, laughing and beig silly, to him pushing me' that much further away. This is killing me.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
I don't even know how to set boundeies without him being interested in our marriage.
IHH, this is precisely when one needs to set boundaries the MOST.
"Husband, I know what you are doing, and it's incredibly disrespectful to me and to our marriage. I will NOT live in an open marriage, and I will not allow you to use our marital home as a hotel for you, to come and go as you please. Either recommit to this marriage, or move out and stay out, and I will take steps to protect myself, including a divorce."
Until you take a stand, IHH, he's going to continue to whipsaw you like he did this weekend.
We are already moving out. He has already told everyone he is not willing to work on the marriage and has started the talking with a lawyer about divorce. So what do I say? I think it's best if you move completely out until our apartments are ready and we are able to move? I don't know when that will be. And I need his help to move and get the apartment I wanted.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
I'm looking at another apartment today. It's slightly more expensive but it keeps the kids at their school. I'm so worried about money I don't know what to do.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
We are already moving out. He has already told everyone he is not willing to work on the marriage and has started the talking with a lawyer about divorce. So what do I say? I think it's best if you move completely out until our apartments are ready and we are able to move?
I have. I don't have much to tell him. He said he'd do the paperwork but we have already agreed on the division of stuff and assets and custody arrangements. Not sure what else needs to be discussed?
I had been talking to his mom a lot, telling her I still wanted the marriage to work. He said today that 'talking to her wasn't going to change anything' and when I said I know he kind of chuckled. I said 'do I want to save our marriage? Yes. Do I want to be married to the person you are right now? No.' and he just made this unbelieving smirk, which I understand. I don't act as if enough. I can't find the balance.
We should be split by the end of the month. I really just think he is done. I don't think that there is anything I can do. I am sitting on the fence about the affair which makes me' confused and go back and forth between being his friend and being distant b
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
I also told him he was disrespecting me staying there and he said 'so you want me' to drive home drunk? Is that better?'
I told him to be gone by the end of the month. I don't know. He has offered to pay half my rent plus child support.
It would be better for me', financially, to stay in my house but it can only be done if he pays half. I would ge it in writing and notorized but I worry that still gives him too much power. It's going to be very hard to move though. I'm not 100% sure I could pull it off.
Last edited by Ihavehope; 09/05/1004:11 PM.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
