Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives hoosiermama? I AM!!

hm,Made MY day, as you know.

Peace,

from gardener's thread--I like this:
"I want someone to show up by accident and stay by choice."

...and that people DO show up.

when is this supposed to start happening? because I'm still hemorrhaging connections, relationships. fewer now than a year ago, fewer then than in the months post-bomb.

When hard times are in your life, it seems that you find out who your real friends are. On top of that my dad always said that you should be able to count your real friends on one hand. So far that has held true.

I have been bad about not forcing myself out there but I have my hands full with the kids and the house. I try to make sure I get out with a friend minimum of once every two weeks. Once things settle with school, I will get back to once a week.

Wouldn't it be easier for these friends to come to us? Sure but they have things going on in their own lives too. It is after all a two way street.

Any news on the job?

kat

I'm afraid you're right! lost a best friend when ex#1 was stalking me--too scary. lost another best friend after I lost son #2--too much sadness. lost a couple of good friends over the past year--don't know why, exactly. yeah, I've reached out to them and they have stopped answering, even when I just say hi, Happy Birthday, stuff like that.

and getting out? did that with a group in June--it was a blast. have orchestrated trying a repeat...but so far unsuccessfully.

nothing yet on the job. these things move slowly!

Do you ever go out by yourself to a movie, how to class or anything like that?

kat

I have occasionally gone to a movie alone. but classes--they cost money, and I've been in a financial crisis for more than 2 years now. that in itself is very limiting.

I think classes at say Lowes or home depot are free. Nice thing for a Saturday morning and you learn something that is practical. Just a thought.

Michaels also has classes. I'm interested in the scrapbooking and art classes myself.

I am sorry about the friendships you have lost. Sometimes, the loss comes about because of your financial issues. They know you can't afford to go to lunch, or shopping, or whatever, so they end up feeling uncomfortable, or not knowing what to do, so they just leave. Horrible, I know, but who can account for human nature. I have a friend who is in a financial pit right now, so I never ask her out for coffee or anything that costs money, but I do ask her to go for walks with the dog, and we just talk. She's trying to get me to get back with H, but she's a new friend, and hasn't gone through all the other stuff my other friends have gone through with me. They all understand. I don't mind. It makes her feel good to be helping someone, even though I have told her it is doubtful that my feelings will change.

I hope and pray that you will find stronger friends ... those who will be true and faithful. You know, it doesn't even take much to be one. And more importantly, I pray for an awesome job for you.

irony:
found out today that my (ex-)boss is transferring departments at the end of the month.

Dammit. Timing really is everything sometimes.

Praying you get the best job ever.