I LOVE to get flowers but I HATED getting flowers or gifts from a guy that I KNEW I was treating badly.
you've been quiet since that comment. do you see how men and women think, communicate, feel and fight differently a little better now?
you can handle it
cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I just read the last few posts of yours and what gucci is trying to say is to basically stop being sooo mushy. I am a woman and I do not like when guys are mushy. I LOVE to get flowers but I HATED getting flowers or gifts from a guy that I KNEW I was treating badly. Now when I am going out of my way for my husband and have been picking up extra slack around the house due to his work schedule or something then flowers that say "i appreciate you" are great. But why on earth would you send flowers to a woman that is not treating you in the manner that a wife should treat her husband. I am not coming down on you because I was guilty of doing the same thing while I was DBing and before husband and I reconciled. The sex can be just that sometimes...sex. Don't read into.
"with no money act like money isn't everything"
very interesting dynamic for discussion
when you have sex with a man you treat "badly" how should he act?
No, no sandwiches. Our MC said not until my W gets back from a trip on the 26th. So I'm going to starve for at least 22 days. Good thing I'm a well trained sandwich camel... The idea is to take the pressure off my wife. Seems to be working a bit, we hold hands and cuddle while sleeping. Not exactly something to send into Penthouse Forums, but better than completely affectionless.
Been busy, and trying not to obsess over things too much. Reading the forums all the time can get depressing quickly, and make you forget that time runs differently on the Internet.
Working on my exit strategy if things go tits up. Will moving out hurt my chances with custody? I'll suck it up if that's the case, and try to get her to move out first. I've looked at apts in the area, and I can afford a nice one, assuming I can get out from under my mortgage. Right now we're just trying to pay off our debt as fast as possible, while building up some cash reserves. She's fully in charge of our finances, though I have 1/2 the votes. Nice not to worry about everything in the bank; she can deal with that. I'm keeping an eye on her until she's got everything down pat.
Oh, and a side note. The two idiots at her job that used to get free meals etc. are out of the picture, at least in a local sense. One has moved to Arkansas, and the other (her boss) has accepted a job with a different company in a different city. So if my paranoid fears of an EA have any basis in reality, it'll be much harder for her to maintain them. Then again, I'm paranoid.
Just had a thought. My wife is always talking about "letting me down" if she can't get that spark back in our R. The whole ILYBINILWY attraction thing. Says she's trying hard, everyday, yadda yadda yadda. We cuddle in bed when I initiate it, we hold hands when I initiate it, we spend a lot of time together as a family, and as a couple watching movies and talking etc.
She said that when I take her hand, she wonders when she's going to want to take the initiative to hold mine instead of waiting for me.
She's afraid it won't come back. Not because it'll hurt me. But because it will hurt her. She said I'm impatient, very impatient. She's afraid of me leaving her, of not sticking with her through this. Afraid of losing everything.
How can I Judo this? Turn this around? I'm confident, I'm in great shape, I'm doing things for myself, my GAL. I'm really happy with how my life is going, and I think that she's not sure if she's in the plan.
I'm doing a ton of home improvements, partially because they've needed to be done, and partially because they'll make our house more saleable if things go pear shaped.
Yep it's limbo, but it's a limbo I've designed. My own private Idaho...
My wife is going out of town for a week, and I'm going to try and take a week away the following week. Two weeks away will be good for both of us.
Agreed. I'm looking forward to her leaving, she's scared of being away from her girls. I'm also looking forward to my time away. Even if it doesn't change anything, I'm going to enjoy a little R&R in San Diego.
