Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Infidelity/MLC - the whole 9 yards

Let him make the decision. As long as your facts are solid, he's an adult who can choose his own path.

4my, tell OW's H straight up. And soon. That his W is involved in an affair with your H, how you discovered it, how long it's been going on, that they work together. He deserves to know she's cheating on him.

Yep -- bingo. Have compassion ("I'm sorry to have to tell you this") but stick to the facts ( " . . . but I thought you should know." Throw in a "I would want to know if the situation were reversed.

Tell her you'll respect her privacy if she doesn't want to discuss it, or you'll share your proof with her if she wants to see it -- her call.

And then be on your way.

Puppy

You're right - I will call him soon.

On another note, saw H tonight at S's soccer game. No wedding ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Didn't bother me at first, but starting to sting a little.

Also did a little check on OW - been married at least twice before. 3 kids by 2 different dads.

So what do you think is going through his mind? I know I shouldn't even be thinking about it. I'm beginning to believe that if it wasn't OW at work, it would've been someone else. And if things with OW don't work out, there will be another one right around the corner. Sorry - little pity party there. It's just that finding someone new is the lowest thing on my priority list. I can't even imagine finding someone worthy of my kids. Ugh - this is hard.

You were upset a little that the H you made vows to and placed a ring on his finger took that ring off? Have you forgotten that he has, and still is cheating on you and your vows? WHY ON EARTH would you want him to desecrate the ring you put on his finger?

Think about it.



When exposing to OW's H, just give him facts. He is going to be very upset. Explain "I'm sorry I have to tell you" but you would want the same. Let him know that if he wants your contact information you are happy to share it. You're also happy to share your H's information with him.

That will bust this sucker to shreds in no time. Or, it won't. Either way, you'll have your answer fairly quickly.

If then that doesn't bust it, you move onto family and friends with that same evidence.

John - thanks for putting it in that perspective for me. That helped. Friends and family already know all the details. They see him walking away from his family and they basically say nothing. I'm still so up and down with all of this crap.

4My, when are you going to do it? The sooner you expose it to OW's H, the faster the dynamic of the A will change.

No problem. Just remember that while he is defiling the sanctity of your M, he doesn't DESERVE to wear that ring.

Nicely put John. Now use this clarity to take your head out of the sand and kick your baby momma to the curb. Deep inside you know the TRUTH of how she has been playing you for years.

4MY - You sound and are doing great. Like Puppy said. ACTIONS DEFINITELY SPEAK LOUDER....

Hold the line. PMA

I made the call. I want to throw up. Off to therapy...