girl i didnt notice that you had slept with him a couple of times. i would get tested asap, and cut him off from your sex. HIV, Herpes, Hepatitis C are diseases that have no cure. Gonoerrhea, Chalymida, Syphillis, HPV, are usually infections that can be cleared up. If you are talking to the OW i would tell her that you also got tested. It might get her scared and cut him off also.
me 36 W 33 s-6 s-4 together since 1991 married Dec 2000 9years first affair before we where married. Second affair 1/2007 Gone Nov,2007 Back June 2008. ILYBNILY---i cannot believe you did this 7/22/2010
Since you've been talking to OW, why don't you let her know you and your husband are still sleeping together. She might be interested in seeing some of the love poems he's written lately as well.
Chances are pretty good he hasn't been completely honest with OW, either, and this may cause some tension over at her place...
That is what I did when I talked to the OW last week. That is why my husband got so upset. He told me that I did not have to tell her everything. I really laid everything on the line. I told her about the love poems. I told her about all the times that we had slept together. I told her about what he says about her and the whole 9 yards. She still claimed that she was not sleeping with him. Once my husband found out that I had spoke to her again he told me that we will never have sex again. He then went on to tell me that instead of spending the day at the house when he comes to see the kids he will just take them somewhere. He said that it is to hard for him to be around me and not want to have sex with me. He told me to let things just play out the way that they are going to play out. What should my next move be from here? I know that it was said to drop the rope. Can I get some detail about that?
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
^ I was going to quote those same 2 things, Puppy.
If he tells you he is going to cut you off from sex, tell him, "And what makes you think I would have sex with you when you're living with someone else?" Then walk away/end the conversation, etc.
When he says it's hard for him to be around you & not want sex... ugh, I am sorry, but I would have wanted to punch him in the face. (Do not do this though, it's just a fun fantasy).
He is CAKE-eating. You asked about dropping the rope... it is just what it states. LET HIM GO. Do not call him, do not text him, do not anything with him. He's acting like he is gifting you with his presence while he carries on an A. It's revolting.
Now is not the time for emotions, Tay. Hard as that sounds. You need to get serious fast. Tell him it ends with her or you will look at all your options, including divorce.
Originally Posted By: didthehurt
If you are talking to the OW i would tell her that you also got tested. It might get her scared and cut him off also.
My play on this would be saying, "I hope you've gotten tested for STDs" in a cheery voice and leave it at that. It will make her start thinking a lot about what mess she has gotten herself into.
Get tested, Tay. You said she has a lot of dudes over that she sleeps with or something like that so if you H is PA'ing with her, it's very likely you have been sleeping with everyone she has (not meant to scare you but STDs are NO joke).
^ I was going to quote those same 2 things, Puppy.
If he tells you he is going to cut you off from sex, tell him, "And what makes you think I would have sex with you when you're living with someone else?" Then walk away/end the conversation, etc.
LOVE that. Or how about
"Wow, someone's feeling awfully highly of himself!"
Once my husband found out that I had spoke to her again he told me that we will never have sex again.
Quote:
He said that it is to hard for him to be around me and not want to have sex with me.
Tay Tay,
Does your husband often use sex as a weapon like this? I find it a very strange dynamic.
btw, your best response to this is a cheery "OK -- your loss, toots!" -- or something similar that sounds authentic to the way you normally speak.
Puppy
Yes, he has always used sex as a weapon. I am an extremely sexual person. In our 12 years together sex has never been a problem. It has been a problem for him though because I want it all the time. He knows that my day just does not function right unless I get my sex lol. When he started seeing the OW all of a sudden his sex drive went through the roof. All of a sudden he wants to have sex with me all day every day even though he was living with her.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
Now I am confused Puppy Dog Tails lol. What are you confused about?. I see that you give some of the best advice up here. I could use your help and insight. The advice you have given so far I am already putting in action as far as letting go.
Me (32) H (36) Together (12 years) Married (3 years) Children (4 ages 11,9,7,6) Bomb dropped (November 09) Seperated (January 29, 2010)
I meant that you received some pretty strong 2x4s above, and even some specific advice, and you never really responded to it.
How do you intend to handle this continued behavior and statements from your husband? Because if this IS your sexual history together, he IS going to use that as a weapon again -- most likely, today.
