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Gonna work on my new goals and NOT get overwhelmed!

(This is the woman who used to post pages of goals!)

Anyway...I realized this morning that it actually takes only 1 hour to do three things that REALLY help my PMA...

So...my goal for the next three weeks (since that's how long it takes to make a habit supposedly) is to do the following:

meditate every day (15 mins)
do flybaby assignment or just general declutter (15 mins)
exercise (30 mins)

Status of day one: DONE!
I meditated, cleaned out my spice cabinet, did pilates for 25 minutes and walked for 20.

Additional goal for each week:
Do 2 things each week that I wouldn't normally do --
possibilities are endless here...eat something I normally wouldn't, go somewhere I wouldn't go, etc. Think up cool things.

Sage

You're inspiring, sage.



Hud

Same from me -- Sage you are an inspiration.

Do you hold seminars? Gonna borrow your goals.
Need some new ones.

I sometimes can't believe that the confident,
amused and happy Bridget drained away. Just bcuz
my H left me to do porn graphics and date coeds, I collapsed. Does that mean I was only self-assured
because I was married?

The accomplished, self-accepting woman he married
would be apalled (was apalled) to see the disapadated
rag I became when he left me. (Lots of my women friends were, too.)

I've been DB-ing like crazy to get back some
vibrancy and independence, to recover the
assured, creative woman I used to be.
It works, yes -- with daily struggle.

I am so grateful to have found DR and DB and the BB
cuz without these I would have thought I was an
insane over-reacting overly-dependent nutcase.
Or I would still be consumed by HATE for men, period.
It's been healing to share my fears AND my baby steps.

I now know you can HEAL and be happy again.
I'm pretty well on my way.
It has taken a lot longer than I thought it would, though.
Takes a lot of patience.

Glad I learned this. Can't claim it is my forte, yet,
but it's a very valuable tool.

I gotta do some daily meditation and daily exercise too.

Thanks again for sharing, Sage. I'm gonna get me
some new goals, and gonna take note of my progress
toward them. Thanks for the reminder.

Though H and I are separated, we are not enemies.
I'm grateful for that, and know the work I did
to be nice to him no matter has kept me moving forward,
kept me from feeling guilty and even more self-punishing.

I'll think of you as I do my stretches in the morning.

Love,
Bridget

Sage,
All you say is admirable-really it is. You speak pretty much for all of us when you set your goals. You work constantly on getting past the betrayal and what it did to you mentally, as we all do.
We all work so damn hard at this-every SINGLE day.
My question is: Is love suppose to be this hard?
Is LOVE suppose to hurt this much?
The only logical answer is no of course.
The chapter in the Bible speaks on what love is.
It isn't any of the things MY H is doing right now.
I think most of us have that kind of love for our H's or we wouldn't be here.
I'm wondering. Did my H ever have that kind of love for me?
Will he ever? Just wondering out loud. I'm in a wondering kind of mood tonight. I really hijacked Tal's thread.
Sorry Tal.
I won't do it to Sage too.
I'm really a positive person, and a survivor.
Then what is this I'm doing??? Rachael

Not much I can add here Sage...it seems the BB is in an extreme self-examination cycle right now. I share a great number of the thoughts tha you have been having as well and frankly, I'm stymied

I shared this thought with my mom...

I have to constantly remind myself that the intention is for H and I to spend the rest of our lives together and it is OK to take our time...that we don't HAVE to cram everything in right now to make it all grand and right and good. That doesn't mean I don't WANT to cram it all in, it just helps to take some of the urgency out of everything.

I don't know if that helps any but it is applicable to the changes I am trying to make in myself as well as in my R/M.

Hugz,
Zoo

i gotta quick question, for anybody really

Quote:

---

people feel much more comfortable to be themselves when they are around people who are comfortable being themselves

---

would this apply in reverse? for example, if i strive to be more of the person that i was, will that change my husband to want to be more like me.

i think i know the answer to this question anyway, just want some thoughts

kitti

kiti,

I don't think anyone would or should want to be like anyone else...(although my thoughts in my r at least, is that it would be nice if I were a bit more like h and he a bit more like me)

that statement was made to say what it says...

it is much easier to relax and be comfortable being yourself when you are around people who are relaxed and being themselves (wich is why I don't have many of those "fake" little soccer mom friends)

LL

Good Morning Sage,

I'm glad you didn't mind my reminding you!

To me it was rather a powerful post and I have hung onto it to help me to recover and move forward.

Wishing you a wonderful day and a great weekend!