He HAS offered to get the lease and we can sign it, so they won't be able to do that. However then I'm locked in til June and I still won't be able to afford it alone.
Who, "he" -- your atty or your husband?
Did you discuss with your atty a motion for immediate temporary support (alimony), to not lose your place of residence? If this is where a child(ren) is living, that should be a slam dunk.
No, there is literally no one. Im still fairly new to the area (new to the whole state actually) and have some friends but no one I can stay with. Thy are worse off than me, oddly enough. My only living family (grandmother and uncle) live out of state and I cannot move them out of state for several reasons.
I will not have money to move until the end of September. I cannot have aftercare for my older two until title 20 kicks in which could be 1-2 months from now. I don't even think i could apply for foodstamps until I signed a new lease and then it would take another month to kick in.
I'm not trying to make excuses, I swear, I just have no idea how to make it work. I am willing to try, but I have to have a very specific plan with everything in place with all the incidentals figured out. I can, for all intents and purposes, move out at the end of September, possibly. I only make minimum wage, but I get money for school at that time and could use it to move. I would be sacrificing any and all savings i could have.
I have my moments of instability but usually I'm ok. Yesterday just really got to me. I know my mental health is important, but my kids are too. The older twos father is also very concerned when their lives change too drastically and is have to deal with that, too.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
My H did he works on the apartment property and as access to all the paperwork. OW is the property manager.
Currently I make min wage (7.30) and he makes 11/hour. We both work 35 hours per week. We both get money for school but I don't know if that would count because it loans. Currently our rent cones from thy and we live off our paychecks.
If I move it would have to be to another city. This is literally the cheapest place in the town. Which is ok, but scary for my kids. If it has to be done it has to be done. But cannot til septemer 24th at the earliest.
If I do decide to move do I tell him? And when.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
1. You move out. 2. You take the kids 3. You don't warn him 4. Check with a lawyer about a sep agreement 5. Offer him access to the kids as a L suggests but no more 6. Find out from the L your EXACT rights and his re access to children... if he doens't have a right to know where they are living you don't tell him etc
IHH I can't stress this enoguh, you cannot fight an affair of this kind with your H and OW controlling your home... You cannot fight that THERE.. You will get VERY ILL... You can wave this off if you want and say you're fine but you WILL GET ILL... I am warning you now... get OUT of there...
You cannot help those kids living under these conditions. -----
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
He didn't warn you he was starting an affair... So you don't warn him...
There's no lease...
I would check all of this plan out with your lawyer FIRST... But my advice is you wait til he's planning to be gone all day or out all night...
You take everything you need and you get out of there with the kids... Then you send him a written letter outlining visitation as per what the lawyer suggests.
I don't think you need to tell him where they are living, but I could be wrong... He just needs to have access to them... You give him that... You meet him at a libarary or whatever WITH a good friend to keep an eye on im...
You meet him one on one with teh kids he will just walk away with them to piss you off...
YOu allow him to visit them, but that's it
You get a separation agreement together that outlines the details of his access and all support payments...
You dothis from the safety of your OWN NEW HOME with the kids ina SAFE environment that isn't rife iwht infidelity, conflict, and deception...
THAT is how you should do this... I don't think there's anything illegal about you moving out of a rental wtihout giving him notice...
If you can't find a good friend to handle the visitation then you get a social worker or a policeman or something to supervise... you tell them he MAY get violent and they should be in there for you
And you don't warn him about any of this... That's Plan A unless a lawyer says you have to tell him you are taking the kids with you... But legally I don't think you do as long as he has a means to visit them... You can give him that... Agree to visit with him and the kids in a library or somewhere safe... so he doens't know where you guys live.... Don't do the visitation alone... take a friend or get a social worker involved so he doen'st make your life miserable during the visitation.
That's Plan A... but should all be cleared with a lawyer first
Wow. That seems so cruel. I know I'm supposed to step out of my comfort zone, and that he is being cruel to me, but it feels wrong. And a part of me wonders, if he is actually NOT having an affair....... Won't this be the completely wrong thing to do?
I have one more option for intel gathering. I will see what I cone up with, talk to L and go from there. I can do the move out thing but I just don't jnow if it's in me to do it as a surprise.
Me 30 H 29 DC 9, 7, 2 M 4 years, T 6 years ILYBINILWY Bomb: 8/8/10 He doesn't want to work, I'm slowly getting there too Physically separating end of September
