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Not a hijack man. This all for us.

Just updating...

The past two weeks has seen infequent but curious action from W.

Two weeks ago, after about two weeks of nothing from her she texts me:

"Just thinking of you and [dog] How are you?"

I didn't respond right away and so she tried calling later and didn't leave a message.

Next day I get morning phone call worried cause she tried to call and then sent text:

"I have tried to call u but no answer. Just thinking about you over the past couple of days and not heard back. Please let me know you're alright."

Followed by another voice mail of same content.

I just texted her I was fine sorry to worry her.

The next weekend texting exhange over footbal as it was one of favorite things to share on Saturdays

She writes "Just thinking about you, saw dolphins off the dock and thought of you and [dog] Are you home?"

We text during the game about plays etc. she says would be nice to watch game together I say yes I miss it too.

She says "I miss [dog]'s sweet face He probably doesn't remember me"

I assure her he will. It has been a awile but I am sure he will be excited when he sees you.

She says "let's talk tomorrow. I think it's a good idea. Is that good with you?"

I say yes and so by the end of the next day she has not phoned or anything but I got to thinking it may be pressure from the above conversation. So I send her a text

"I don't want you to feel pressure to talk to me if you don't thinks it's time. I know we both miss watching games together,it[my telling you that] was not meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I understand and it's ok if you don't want to talk right now. I hope you are ok."

WIFE "Yes.No worries. Glad you texted."

And that was the weekend before last. Nothing this past weekend from her so no communication. I am still not initiating anything.

I am getting better at just letting these seemingly hopeful attempts from her to reconnect and actually tell me what she is feeling and missing me and dog -just be what they are and not read into anything.

It seems she is still just poking her head out and making sure I am still there.

Happens every two weeks or so.

Oh and also realized I was removed from Sam's club membership she had through her parents...

In Florida that is almost a legally binding divorce....

No more big boxes of Wheaties for Truegritter!

Exactly!

And recconection happens first with the animals.

You are doing well TG, keep up the good work.

Continue to mirror her and you will be fine!

Truegritter -

I peeked in because I read your responses sometime. I rarely post anymore, but felt compelled to reply to this one.

I was just removed from our Sam's Club membership, too! Wahhh!

Just sending you huge amounts of support on that one. I'm now going to be w/out my super-sized box of Cinnamon Pop Tarts!

True

You always amaze me. Always.

True, I think you did great. Just let her lead the conversations and validate and mirror.

She is peeking out. But any kind of "feelings" convo from you at this point is still freaking her out a bit.

Sorry about the Wheaties, man. Better find another place to get them cuz they are after all, the breakfast of champions.

Grit,
These moments of clarity are the most difficult for me. They come around so infrequently and then poof their gone again....

Like Eric said "you amaze me"

your poise is admirable.

~C

Grit,

I just want to say that I think that your W is extremely fortunate to have a man like you.

I hope for her sake as well as yours that she wakes up someday and realizes just how much she is loved.

Thanks for sharing your inspiring thoughts. They have helped me many times.

You see, I don't get this. You're sorry to worry her? She left, right? She wasn't too worried when she left, and when you don't hear from her for weeks, is she sorry to worry you?

I don't get why you would say that. It's not your job to rescue her from her feelings. If she can't get ahold of you because you are living your life without her because she left you, then what is there to be sorry about?



The mental image I get is Charlie Brown trying to kick that football (yet again) that Lucy promises to hold (yet again).



Mind reading. And what pressure? I don't see it in what you've posted. Did you threaten to never talk to her again if she didn't call? Did you say call me at exactly this time or else? Did you say there is going to be a test on morse sequence applications to topological spaces?

Let me clarify something, when your own family calls and don't hear from you for a couple of days, do they start in with the "We were worried.,.." stuff?

I ask because I'd have to be AWOL for a couple of weeks unexpectedly before I heard something like that from my own mother who I talk to several times a week.

So... her expectation is that when she calls you, you will be there and return her calls promptly... after she has left you?


You can believe in marriage all you want, you can never file for divorce and leave that to her if you want, you can love her all you want, but... ?

Go have some fun It's a nice day.