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Oh, Sunny. No credit due here.

I'm just another comedian using "stolen material"

This is all PEI, Puppy, Allen, Coach, Sandi2, Steady, Wonka, Eric, Missherlove, Gritter, Lance, and books. Lots of em.

Just put in words how my filters "caught" it all.

Again, it's mostly due to being 'outside' your forest.

I was discussing an airplane scenario with Eric yesterday.

There is an airplane flying in cloud that mysteriously developed. the pilot has no training in this. Their kids may or may not be on board.

Which job is better? Being the ATC person trying to talk them down or the person in the plane?

We are ATC for each other's sitches. But when WE are in the plane, things get much more "complicated"

Happens to all of us.

The key is to try to be ATC in our OWN sitch.

Well, you need to give yourself some credit! Even if it's stolen material, you still have to deliver it correctly, right?!!

Good analogy. I like that! I'm much better at being the ATC for someone else. Guess we all are.

Hey, hands off my stash of Kit Kat bars in my desk drawer, CD!!

I wasn't in the drawers.
Just wanted to see what it felt like to sit in the chair.

She called again a few minutes ago. No Vmail again.
Trying to 'feel nothing'.

Detach from it and the motive.

"Mind-racing". A bad habit I have to break.

Thinking out loud here-

Why am I not responding again? Apart from finding out what she is calling about. What is MY motivation for not responding?

I can't think of one that doesn't have to do with HER.

-the A continues
-we are still heading to D
-she said and acted that she wants the above
-nothing indicates this has changed

All I have is that, for my health, I have to detach from this. Especially since I don't know what THIS means.

Trying to SEE from the ATC Tower, if this weren't me, I'd say-

SHe hasn't given any indication what she wants. She has communicated nothing. Are you a pet that comes running because she whistled?

I think I just lumbered myself

From my point of view those all have to do with YOU and not her. She continues to have an A and disrespect YOU.
YOU are still pointing toward a D. She said and acted to the above and it has an effect on YOU. No indicators the sitch has changed but YOU have changed.

You don't take the calls because you are unavailable. You don't jump every time she says jump. You aren't there for her every time she needs you - she walked away from that when she left. She doesn't get the benefits a person would get when they are in an intimate R with someone.

You wonder why she called -
- Maybe she's looking back
- Maybe she needs something. If I give it to her am I enforcing her bad behavior? If I don't won't that drive her further away?
- Maybe she's taking my temperature
- Maybe she missdialed
- Maybe.... <it's a very long list>

I use to do it all the time. I do a lot less now. That comes in time and being sick and tired of being sick and tired of burning all that fuel in the brain - it's exhausting.

Letting go requires no energy at all. It's in the convincing ourselves to let go where the energy exertion is.

Surrender is to move over to the winning side.

Your feelings are your feelings. It's your actions that matter here, and you're doing the right thing ... nothing.

Keep working on detachment.
You got this.
PEI

Oh, and thank you ... I'm glad you got something out of my post this morning. Today is a good day ... hell, anyday above ground is a good day!

Nope that is called Personal Growth!!!

Way to go, your doing great.

Cheers

OK. Not lumber.

How about this.....



Super High Intensity Therapy.

That was funny......

I checked

BTW....I drink everything from Guiness all the way down to my (bathwater corona lite) LOL