"About the time we have totally given up and accepted that this is just not going to get better and thrown in the towel, then the crap will start to fly."
As in, get realllllllyyyyy nasty? So, what do you call the stuff that flew across the living room this evening and slapped me upside the head?
Be thankful you get to see it. Some don't have a live-in and understand the monster and it's antics. You get to watch for free! At least then your mind can process and realize that this is not the same woman you were married to. Yup, and then realize she is sick. And now you have proof. It will help you sleep at night. It will help clear your confusion. This stuff in a way is easiest to handle. The tough stuff they keep secret very well and you find out about it later.
You've lived with these women long enough to know their cycles. When you know it's that time. Stay as far away from them as you can. Do not pressure, say anything, or in anyway try to engage them. If you do it is likely to end badly.
I can't imagine MLC mixed with whacked out hormone levels at that time would be much fun for the women either much less you guys.
I believe my H's T levels were/are very low. In the last two years living with him was like living with a woman with PMS on a daily basis.
So yes, I believe fluctuating hormone levels just adds to the misery all the way around.
So yes, I believe fluctuating hormone levels just adds to the misery all the way around.
I think SA hit the nail here. I believe it is in the the 6 stages where HB writes " their hormones are out of whack". It is not important if they are high or low they could be just fluctuating, which is the reason for the wacky behavior. This is an ingredient for a MLC or a WAS for that matter.
For what it's worth, my W took no meds during or after childbirth to deal with (or even spoke with a doctor regarding post-partum) and then, about the time the bomb dropped, had an ovary and fallopian tube removed due to a cyst.
Again, hasn't taken anything for that either or sought medical follow up
As a NORMAL human, if it were me, I'd be concerned about physiological imapact on my behaviour and health.
Her? Not so much. And now we're "riding the rollare coaster"
For what it's worth, my W took no meds during or after childbirth to deal with (or even spoke with a doctor regarding post-partum) and then, about the time the bomb dropped, had an ovary and fallopian tube removed due to a cyst.
Again, hasn't taken anything for that either or sought medical follow up
As a NORMAL human, if it were me, I'd be concerned about physiological imapact on my behaviour and health.
Her? Not so much. And now we're "riding the rollare coaster"
Fun, huh?
G'morning Bear ... I'm gonna call you out on this one.
This is a common thought among people who don't undertand mental illness. It was my belief until I experienced it. Depression, whether post-partum or not, is not 'sadness' and is very difficult for the sufferer to recognize or acknowledge. Really. So, that being said ... I would highly recommend you do some reading in this area ... forget the "save my marriage" books for now. Work on your compassion by learning what you can about Depression.
Oh, and get off the superiority train too ... the whole "I would do this but NOT her" thing won't serve you ... and you know it
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
It's funny you all mention the hormone changes/fluctuations. I noticed last Thursday that my wife was developing this HUGE pimple right in the middle of her forehead. (She's 40 years old...)Also, she had a small bag of trash that she dumped in our trash can when she stopped by the house yesterday; which contained a sanitary napkin.
As far as her spewing, in the context of her monthly cycle, hormone fluctuations, and, if you believe in the astrological possibilities...the full moon, how serious do I take her barrage of, "I just want to say as clearly as possible to you that I will never, never come back to you or this family or this house!"? How much should I 'believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see'? Deep inside, does she really mean the words she said above? Or, does she only 'mean' them in her current state of fluX?
Right now she thinks she means it. Of course right now she may also think the moon is made of cheese. She is depressed and that colors everyhting she says and does. There is no explaining it because it does not make sense.
