Rules, boundaries, and limitations - - Dogs need to know that their pack leader is clearly setting the rules, boundaries and limitations for their life both inside and outside the house. - Anger, aggression, or abuse toward the dog will not establish you as pack leader; an angry, aggressive leader is not in control. Calm-assertive energy and daily, consistent leadership behavior will make enforcing the rules easier.
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Calm-assertive energy – This is the energy you project to show your dog you are the calm and assertive pack leader. Note: assertive does not mean angry or aggressive. Calm-assertive means always compassionate, but quietly in control.
We can learn alot from the Dog Whipserer.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
She hasn't shown much initiative. She looked at beds at a 2nd hand store, didn't like them. She went with me on Wed to look at the 1BD apt, she didn't like them. That's about it.
She wants "space" to move out. She hasn't said what she sees herself doing except moving out. Her timeline is to wait until this dream apt opens up.
I can't live with this limbo. In some ways I like it because she can see the changes in me, but since I've gone pretty dark, and minimizing contact, she may not notice much. Otherwise this limbo is driving me nuts as we both overanalyze each other's words and actions.
I feel the same way Pin. The only difference is we both need to be out of the house by the end of the month. I dont know what she plans on doing, I dont ask. I am making plans for me, and if she doesnt have anything in place, then I will take the kids with me. This all will happen prior to the first hearing anyway.
your W sounds like mine, she has decided on something which is 50% of the action, but not making any movement towards it thats the other 50%. Follow through. Our W's are still "safe" where they are at.
Yeah, I see it as a form of cake eating. She doesn't have to invest anything in the relationship, yet gets to stay around her kids and live in a nice house. Heck, if the roles were reversed, I might do the same.
yes it is cake eating, but eventually the cake will be gone...... at least on my sitch. I guess my pending foreclosure will help put "closure" to the limbo on my end. Not that its a good thing, but home ownership is overrated. I have owned 5 houses in my lifetime and have gotten my @ss kicked on all of them as far as any upside. So I guess i look at renting as a way to not have to be so concerned about the responsibilities of ownership of a home. My S asked me this morning what I was doing today? I said I have a meeting, and that I had to go get fitted for a suit. W was on the other side of the house, and asked why I was getting fitted for a suit? I told her I had some interviews next week and needed a new suit. I wanted to say none of your biznass, but I told her da truth...
set a timeline pin, its like coach says, lead the pack. Be the alpha dog and put something in concrete form. I gave the W an alternative to D, if she doesnt bite on it, then so be it. But I am moving on....
