Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy New Game- Exposed

Theoretically, there are some principles that do apply. Some may not transfer gender-specifically.

However, I still think it may be good reference for material you in that it may show you some things about you and, more importantly, things to watch for in men.

You could probably get the basics off the website.

SunnyD I think it does. If you have any people pleasing tendencies, putting others before yourself, inability to draw healthy boundaries, sacrificing your identity and getting lost in a R, not asking for what you need, fear of truly expressing yourself out of fear if you were really known people wouldn't like you or you fear it would upset them and they will reject you - then yeah, it does apply.

I imagine all of this applies to most of the LBS here.

Uh...yeah....I got all that goin' on! LOL

Besides...if I plan to be a FT, the more info the better anyway!
lol

Another good book for that is Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life by Susan M. Campbell. CD ordered it already. It's about being the authentic you and not getting hung up in how people might react to the 'real you'.

Another one by her is Saying What's Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success by Susan M. Campbell. Another good one geared toward relationships.

I have that first one on my "definites" list!

mHi Sunny and Steady. Out with D since dinner.
I have N.U.T.S; Getting Real-10 Truths; and the last one isn't the 7 Keys but the Dating one. I thought that might be more pertinent to the boundaries I'm needing help on going forward.

Plus, my mindset is to have a great second M-whether it's W or not.

Incidentally, after the 10 minute chat yesterday, I get another odd text today-

"Got a great job offer. How do you feel about moving to the balmy climate of (summer resort town)?
We have a mutual friend there so I asked if the offer cae from him, simply by spelling his name.
She said "No. XXX Ford"
I said "Been there, Nice. New building. Close to the beach. And only 20 mins from (her favorite Ice cream place when we vacationed there in the good days)

She says "Yeah, and in a month I'd be 440"
M:But the heat will sweat it right back off. It's a win-win"
W:LOL

And that's it. I said nothing else.

I thought it odd that she was asking about "us" moving. That happens to be a place we had discussed several times as a place to live. No mention of OM. Of course, I'd have to move becasue of D and custody but that's not how it felt. I also thought it clever to bring up the ice cream place.

Thoughts on my responses? Of course, I waited 5-10 minutes between responses.

OK: I'll give this a shot although I'm not as good at grading exchanges as the experts around here! (disclaimer, lol)

I would call it a draw. It would've been better for you to wait HOURS to respond rather than minutes. As I just wrote on Antonia's thread, you could be being tested and it's important you pass! The test is, "Is CD still eating out of the palm of my hand, because I wonder after yesterday...." It's a very subconcious thing. I know it's hard when you hear the "us" when you aren't expecting it, but I know all too well the next day it can be right back to "me".

Don't get me wrong - testing shows hope. However, you have to be careful and remember you're supposed to be GAL and have your own things to do, people to see, and places to go. I would've preferred you have been a little more neutral... Remember your goal is to be more elusive - make her wonder where your heart is now, not handing it over the first time she hints at asking!

BUT, on the other hand, you didn't over-respond either which is good. I would give you the 2x4 if you did!

LOL

Thanks, Sunny.

I do have to detach more. She "may" be looking this way but I need to make it harder.

After this weekend and next week "alone" with my new books (and Steady and I have plans to work on some Nice Guy exercises), I should be much better.

Always good to have a study buddy! And hey - when you're ready, Mod Squad is still on!

You will probably get better analysis on the exchange but I don't want you to be discouraged: signs of hope are signs of hope. However, you do want her to be interested in pursuing and not just sniffing. I liken it to my dog when she gets out of the yard: If I chase her, she runs and runs and runs! If I just walk outside and slowly walk behind her, she still wanders off, but not as much as when I'm in hot pursuit. NOW: if I go inside and shut the door??? Guess who is sitting on the front door step whining to come inside in no time?!!!!!