You will be tempted to take on more responsibility and that is a natural temptation when you finally open your eyes after the anger. That is why you look at things that sting.
Just got a call from W. This could have been done by text.
About the dayhome and the problem they are having with the other set of parents behind on their bill.
10 minutes.
Don't want to mindread but.....
Anyway, I promised I'd post the "significant" things I noticed yesterday at the meeting-
-the crying about my statement "I love her. She's the mother of my daughter" She said she had never heard me say that and it was the nicest thing she can recall me sayig in 'months'
-her snooping for inexpensive housing in the same little town we currently live. I did NOT expect that at all.
-her remembering AND complying with signing the bank paper AND bringing the current paystub
-her "right now" attitude to getting our taxes completed.
-NOT calling the OM right away. No texts either. When I caught her on the phone, it turned out she was talking to Revenue Canada.
-she visibly "stiffened" when I said "If you end the A now, I am willing to discuss this further"
-she 'asked' how much was in the account as she was needing gas and cigarettes. Normally, she'd just do it.
-she agreed to comply with my interim banking arrangement and volunteered to continue to pay cable and phone (though not obligated to do so)
-she agreed that "we" should look at the other mediator, too.
-she had already got a "cash price" to get the damage on her truck fixed so we could get rid of it.
As I said, and in combination with the 10 minute call this morning, "something" is different here.
However, I need to remember that whether of not this means "something I did is working", I still have to "stick with what is working" and KEEP MAKING THE CHANGES.
Opinions? Agreement? Anything I'm 'missing?'
Thanks to everyone for the last 24 hours of "love and lumber"
I see it all the time, especially following a particularly aggressive exposure cycle and/or tough legal stance from a betrayed husband towards a cheating wife. The cheating wife may b*tch and holler and moan, but there's often a period following where there's a begrudging RESPECT that sets in.
Getting back this respect is imperative no matter WHAT you two end up doing: reconciling, co-parenting, friends -- whatever. And it does wonders for your OWN self-esteem.
Getting back this respect is imperative no matter WHAT you two end up doing: reconciling, co-parenting, friends -- whatever. And it does wonders for your OWN self-esteem.
Absolutely!! And just the view that RESPECT is what I gained over the last few encounters is extremely helpful in getting out of the funk of yesterday and re-focusing on moving forward with: -self-analysis -M analysis -self-improvement -confidence -self esteem -self respect
Hey CD, how about you and I team up on the exercises and do them together. Say like one or two a week. This will put us into the 'action' rather then just the passive reading/collecting knowledge. Knowledge aint worth a cr@p unless action drives it into our core.
The other thing - I have something I think will help you with the smoking but I'd need to contact you outside of here. I couldn't find you in the alt universe.
Any clues?
Another way is meeting here at the same time and doing the refresh thing to get information across.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
