Had a rough start but it's getting better all the time. Thinking of donig the highlight thing myself. Also, there is some new nail technique where they are not actually applying glue over your nails, but some type of lacquor that helps keep your nails from breaking. Think I'll check that out next week.
Taylor - Haven't had access to internet to reply but have been following posts. Congratulations on the positive changes in your situation. I pray that they continue. I know that you were looking for some additional resources and I would recommend a couple of websites/email newsletters - www.marriagebuilders.com and also google marriage vine e-newsletters. These have been particularly helpful to me. You are probably in a better place to use this info than me. I also want you to be very careful ~ please re-read your thread and remain keenly aware of the pain you so openly shared on this board. That vulnerable lady is the one that needs to be cared for - you deserve nothing but the best. IB
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
checking in how are you doing? Did you find a IC yet?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Wow guys!! We went to the new MC, and he is a MC this time..the other guy was an IC and he was very good too, but this guy deals specifically in Marriage. He has a PHD in psychology and teaches it at the local state college. He also has his own practice. He's an older guy and very intelligent and he is SO NICE. We were there for 2 hours. He started talking about how we learn to handle conflict when we are kids (watching our parents and other big people and how they handle confilict)and how that comes back to haunt us as adults before we learn new skills. Because kids handle conflict very differently than mature adults. He purposely didn't even bring up any of our specific problems at all and he actually did most of the talking..he asked us lots of questions about how long we've been together, what our childhood was like, and explained how two people can resolve conflict if they use reason and intelligence to do it. My H loved him..and so do I. We both felt very comfortable with him and we will be going back as soon as we can get in. This MC seems to be pretty popular as far as appts go. The MC told us not to talk about anything that we discussed at the session until Wed (today), so we could both digest what what we talked about. Of course we did talk about it a little but not much and so tonight I hope we'll be able to sit down and talk about it.
My H is trying. I can see that. He seems more relaxed and in the moment, with me. He will talk about things I bring up and offer his comments. He's leaving me little notes and calls me during the day or texts to say hi. He seems much happier too. I'm still applying for jobs but feel like I can breathe again. Didn't realize I was holding my breath for so long. We are definately NOT out of the woods yet, but at least we're walking..instead of standing around wondering which direction to go.
I am still going to the church to light my candles, and I feel that God is hearing my prayers. He led me to this new MC and that was a big deal. I bought some new clothes and continue to lose weight, so that makes me feel pretty good about me. I'm also exercising every day and have started reading my fiction books again. I have been corresponding with my family and friends more now..and we talk about FUN things instead of all this divorce crap.
All in all, things seem to be looking up. But like you all mentioned, I am not assuming that this will be easy or will even work out in the end. I am doing what I can to help us be successful and that's really all I can do, besides tend to myself.
I do have one question for all you guys..especially the guys..how do you deal with a person that is resentful? My H told the MC that he is a resentful person and always has been. I actually had to look up what it meant because I'm not like that at all. I mean of course I get pissed sometimes, but I don't hold grudges or let it effect my relationships or personality. So, how do I learn more about resentment and how to live with someone who is that way? Oh, BTW, the MC also is helping us to learn to tell each other things that are hard to say to each other so that we don't get defensive about it.
Honestly, it's been tough. Sometimes I think that I've been in denial because deep down I've been trying to keep hope alive. I have physically detached from him but I am nowhere close to being emotionally detached from him. But I've been focusing on work and the kids - so I'm hoping the time will come when he's not the first thing I think about in the morning. I need healing!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Irish, It's hard to emotionally detach. I've never been able to do it. There are people on this site who can tell you how, so I hope they chime in. Eric, Grit, PEI, Snodderly, Puppy..can you guys give her a hand? I could use some tips in that area too. GAL doesn't seem to stop the thoughts of our spouses and the wanting. All the wanting...
