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She wants to feel in love with you. What attracts her?


Why did she see you as smart and kind?

What specifically did you do to give her attention?

How did she love on you?


"Space" allows her to make a choice, she can come to you (pursue you, cats love to hunt), she can miss you and it creates some drama (feelings).

So you have to love on her in ways she needs while giving her space. Be a sniper with your love, very accurate and focused on her. Then let her figure out where the feelings came from and search out the source.

Ah, gotcha. Sometimes I get such tunnel vision.

The biggest way I gave her attention was just listening to her talk. Really undivided attention. I went places with her, did acts of service for her.

You are such a Pinhead!

Aye!

Meh, I think I overpursued. Wife was really cold last night when I got home from work, wouldn't make eye contact at all. After dinner I took the dog out for a 2mile walk, and told her i'd be going to the Y afterwards. She asked when I was getting back, told her around 9pm, which irritated her.

Came home, she was asleep on the couch. Luckily my little ones were still awake, so I got to say goodnight to them. Love them!

Kept expecting her to come talk to me after I showered and went to bed, but she didn't until a rainstorm woke her around 11. She just climbed into bed and went to sleep.

I'm pretty sure she's decided against further MC etc.

I'm pretty detached though. Seeing so many beautiful women working out at the Y is a real boost!

Should be an interesting day. We have to go to our bank to finish our refi on the house, and she has the whole day off.

I don't think I'll be able to be friends with her when she separates. I'll never trust someone who did this to me, my daughters and who is breaking what I consider a sacred vow. And when she says that everything she does is for the girls, I want to puke; this is all about her and no one else. She's such a coward.

Now watch me be 100% wrong, and have her tell me yes, she wants to try, but is soooo scared. Hah. Won't happen.

What a great morning, despite my stbxw. Made pancakes for my girls, took them to their Y daycamp, found a notary and finished our mortgage refi, then got a call from the adjuster for the schmuck who totaled my new car. I'll actually be making money...

My W was really quiet during the refi, I tried to make small talk, but she's obviously concerned/upset about something. Probably too chickenshit to admit that she can't work on our marriage. Last night she mentioned that the local mattress store was having a sale; meaning that she could buy the girls new beds for her appt. So that's her way of hinting.

Seeing her like this is sooooo unattractive. She used to be a "never say die" hard working women, who gave her all. Now she's this self-centered, cowardly woman. Boo hiss

I can relate pin,

W has made reference to doing everything for the kids, but in reality(which both our W's) have a twisted view of, the best for the kids is the last thing on their mind.

WA's become selfish, they put their feelings and wants above all else. Again nothing we can do about it.

It's really going to be hard to be nice if she leaves, even if it's just a separation. Knowing what just a short separation will do to my daughters, my finances, and hell, my emotions makes me want to throttle her.

I can't be "friends" with her if she leaves. I can be friendly, but definitely not friends. A fine line...

PH,

My W is alot like yours in many ways. She says what she is doing is for the kids, but it is so much more about her and what she wants.

I would not buy the beds for her to put in her apartment. She made her choice, so now she has to live with the outcome. This is just my perspective. You have decide what you think is best.

Just have a great day, and enjoy the precious moments with your kids.