Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Just observing the changes

Hello all.....
H invited D and I to his house for dinner tonight. It seemed to go well. The conversation was light and friendly and the atmosphere was calm and relaxed.
Saturday the 3 of us are going to choose D's birthday gift and then on Sat night the 3 of us are going out to celebrate D's birthday.

Thanks Truegritter. I agree, I have no control over H!

Rabbit...hugs...thanks for catching up with me. I lost all my email addresses with a pc issue so was happy to see that you still posted occasionally.


Hi again Lance...yes, the huge gap was when I just let him go and didn't bother to talk at all so I had nothing to report here and additionally I needed a break. Yes, my D swims all year round.

Hi GAG....I also followed your situation along with Rabbit, Oz, JCJ and Dia. I've recently caught up with your H's changes. I wish you continued success!!

Cas

This morning we went shopping with D for her gift and then had coffee. H has been here this afternoon helping D with her homework. He is being VERY patient with her! I have been studying....

Oh, I forgot....H also made some more soup and brought us a big container when he came here today.....yum!

I am a card carrying member of US Swimming.

Lance, I have to say that I don't really know what that means but it sounds impressive!! Swimming is a great sport. I am really happy my D has chosen it as her sport, in spite of the early mornings!

Lets just say I am not a swimmer but I go to lots of meets and I have a whistle around my neck. I watch each race with interest.

It is a great sport and is really good for the kids.
It teachs them discpline and teamwork.

Once she learns how to drive then it is much easier on the parents.


Sounds like your WH is making an effort to reconnect with your D. That is good! Hope you liked the soup.
Keep us posted.

Tonight we had dinner for D's birthday at a Japanese restaurant. Conversation flowed more easily and naturally. After dinner we walked to the shops and got some apple pies and returned to H's house to heat them. He showed me some photos on his computer and D played some video clips which she insisted we watch.

H has again invited us to dinner with him on Thurs night.

Cas,

It sounds as though your H is reconnecting. Well done! Your patience has allowed him to move toward you and your family. ...........now repeat after me: no expectations, no expectations, no expectations............

Please keep posting about what's happening. It helps us all to see how these things move forward.

GAG

tonight when speaking about general stuff H asked if my L was back from holidays. Said I would follow her up. Then we spoke about D. In essence the conversation was a bit confusing. These are the main points;

H said that we need to organise financial settlement but H would never re-marry so D wasn't essential to him but if I wanted D we should proceed.

H said D is a piece of paper only so nothing would change between us and in fact, it could signify a new beginning and put the pain in the past.

I said I thought D was inevitable. I commented that I had already worked hard to put the past behind me and I was happy with the progress I had made and the D paper wouldn't change that. However, I also felt D could disconnect us. H said we would always be connected as parents. I agreed but said that I was talking more about the connection between us. He said, "Don't do it then."

I did not expect this conversation and I am not sure what to make of it.

Sounds like MLC talk for trying to keep you from getting "too far away"

I guess my question is what does Cas05 want?
You stated


This is why
we must keep our expectations at zero.