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She has sent me 3 text in the last 2 hours about Dr Bills for the kids. Ive kept my response short and to the point. Normally I would answer and about 20 mins later text something about us. But not doing it anymore. Its hard. With my luck its either going to make it easier for her to walk away or she will spin it in a situation to where she thinks I dont care...lol I cant win.

Purchase Divorce Rem book today after work, Im about half way through it. Great book. I have still seen quite a few things Im still messing up on. Im going to start tonight corecting those when she comes and gets the kids in a hour. I wish I would of read that book the day after she moved out. I hope its not too late, we shall see.

Wife called shes off work on her way over here. She sounded like she was in a 1/2 way decent mood. She was kinda friendly. Nothing major but for her it is right now. LOL ...As much as it pained be I talked with her about for about 3-4 mins and then said "well I guess Ill see ya when you get here". She seemed caught off guard and said "Ok". I hate doing that when she is not ill. I am sure she wont hang any when she gets here, she was staying a lot after work but then things went south again and we were relationship talking a lot and it went south. So if she wants to get the kids and run, Im going to letter her and act like it doesnt bother me. We will see how that works out. I did text her two small quotes out of the Div. Rem book today. The one about "love" when your in it people think marry and when they fall out they think divorce and the part about proving that theory about asking the question on the wedding day about in X years your would be divorced and they wouldnt believe it and the same thought in reverse make them think they cant fix it. It was such as great point I had too. I read most of the book, Ill try it for 2 weeks and then read the chapter I skiped about reading your results.

Well she stayed about 30 mins. I acted cool and calm. Tried to be happy. I accomplished what I wanted but it didnt make me feel better. I hate seeing them pull out of my drive way. My little girl and boy both said they will miss me, I wanted to cry but I stayed strong, until they all left.

Its a werid feeling acting normal. I feel like Im trying to get us use to how its "going to be" if it doesnt work. I dont wont her to get use to it. I guess when it comes to this crap Im a glass half empty kind of guy.

I'm very new, it's only been 2 weeks now for me but I still feel that way too. I have a hard time after an encounter with W feeling like I am playing into her "you never wanted to talk to me, you never showed any interest in my job" etc. But I *think* I am seeing the very beginnings of a thaw on her part. She is letting little things slip, like yesterday I told D8 that I was going to surprise them with something fun to do next weekend, W turned to me and said "what are we going to do?" looked at me , then turned and left the room. She seemingly said "love you" last night by accident.

Your like me, take any good sign you can get. Just dont do like I have. 1 false move for a sec can wipe out a weeks work. And it doesnt take much.

WOW the kids leaving I know I try and hold back my feelings when I drop my 4 y/o and 2 y/o off, it hurts... Im so used to taking naps daily with them as well. Another thing stbxw will not help them call or even answer when I call to talk to them. The judge just ordered her to call Tues and Thurs now so we will see if she follows through. I want my kids here with me, they have no beds nor a room for them at there grandpas (her dads) where she is bunking. I'm starting to get mad at my L cause he seems very passive but supposed to be top notch same with her L. I think both of them just want to make some bank off the two of us and she is being to dumb to notice. As much as she is listening to her L I think they are having an PA.. I'm trying to figure out how I can have them and she get the weekends at least for a while to let her feel the pain and hurt she is causing me. And she wont even tell anyone why except that she does not want me trying to bother her to reconcile.. Keep your head an chin up I know the pain and loss your feeling.

Well after all of that, last night I feel asleep, I woke up about 130am and she and I bounced back a few text. I told I wish she was over her laying beside me, and I got back the classic I dont know what you want me to say line. So I took it instride and send back " I just want to hear that as of today you havent gave up and your hanging in there". I didnt expect to get a response but what I got back was "Im not going to lie to you right now so Im not going to say anything". So of course I call for 30 seconds and ask if that means she quit aleady and if the asnwer is yes that doesnt mean it will always be yes and she said She didnt know. Said something about if something didnt happen,about not leading me on. (Standard answer to anything is IDK) I asked why are you still going to counseling, same answer IDK. There was some other things said I cant remember what it was but nothing important.

So that brings me to today. I think I have seen the light. In my opinion she has her mind made up already and is just not saying it ( I think she feels quilty and ashamed for what she is doing but she cant help herself). I think all this "trying" is a show to me, my family, her family and to be able to somewhat tell the kids down the road she tried. But deep down she knows. Everyone knows she hasnt. I can kill myself with effort when there is a legit chance but now I feel that I and my kids are being played. I can deal with myself, but with her brushing off the last chance my kids have a having their family togther with no effort and half hearted attempts, really really bothers me. There is nothing I wouldnt try for my kids. Dang this has only been 4 sesssion and seperated for 8 weeks and not talking to the OM for 5 weeks and she quit a week ago. Unbeleiveable. So today Im going to tell her that in the next few days the truth will come out becuase you cant fake real effort. And if that is the case that I am 100% done with her. I will always do what is best for my kids and support them fully and work with her for them, but outside of that, dont speak to me, no calls, dont hang out, AND STOP ASKING ME FOR FAVORS. Plus she always asks my mom to watch the kids for her to do more at work when im at work. We have a long standing pack that the kids will not ever do a day care and she knows and I dont think she would break it. This is a combo between Marriage Builders ( no contact) and this sites LRT. And its not to get her back, its so I can start to prepare to get own with my and my kids lives. I see it coming. It will hurt but I will make it and continue to the best dad like I always have. Ill update later.

I went all in? Am I a Fool?????????



Over 2 Years ago my wife started a job. All her time went into this job. This might sound stupid but I was wondering how she fell out of love with me, I kind of knew it, but always rolled over because I knew she LOVES this job. The hours of this job are awful 12-930pn every day but Thursday and Friday. Incorporate that with kids school schedule out the door at 730am and in bed by 8pm and a husbands 730-5pm. I just did the math and if she spent every free moment of her time spending quality time with the kids it would average 42 mins a day about 4 hours a week. With me she can average 31 mins a day 3 hours a week. Imagine that for two years!!!! How did she fall out of love LOL. I messed up some but I knew it was not worth the beating Ive been taking. I basically said you got to decide either you on board or not to fixing this after I read her the numbers. I really think she didn’t realize it was that bad. She knew it was a distraction but not 42mins day and 30mins. She said I got to go and hung up. I told her I was making a chart to take in the session Thursday. Thursday is the day she commits to recovery or at the least expresses that we didn’t have a chance and there is at least potential for it to be better. And if things go good the counselor will have to put us on a written plan with goals. I even said we can have a month cooling off period so we don’t talk outside of counseling. Then he maps out the progress. Either we are in or out. Our 10 year marriage and 3 kids deserve a 2nd chance. It risky but I am prepared to lose. Nothing will change the way we are going. That issue has been danced around in counseling and everything under the sun has been brought up. I think there is a 65-60% chance she picks the job. It is what it is at that point. She said today, before this it was a choice that was bothering her, and family was a priority, but she yelled that out. But she did say more of her was not wanting it right now. So its not good at this point but we were on the road to no where. My only play is her knowing she didn’t give the kids a chance, us a chance and that if she made some tough choices we could have a happy marriage and the kids could have a home. I also said its not the job but the hours, I would support her either in a new position or new company.

I am taking in the daily schedule mapped out with a chart, to show her.

Bad plan.