I really appreciated your post to me today. It put my sitch into perspective. I think I have lost all perspective on the M while I have been so focused on the D that part of me still does not want to have happen.
I have a lot at stake in this divorce which is more than I think I am worried about with saving the M. This is why I do not think I can ever work on the M.
Your story about you and your W in your sitch has give me some newfound hope. I really appreciate the point you have made about never losing hope. I have felt a little bit of hope today.
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ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
We just signed a paper in the eyes of the law and never had a chance for a real ceremony because our D was on the way, and she says that she never knew what marriage was about, so it does not apply to her. We do have the almost nine years of marriage together and two kids though.
I understand about the time frame for affairs, and it is progressing very slow in the my sitch.
I am focused on me and kids, not her anymore.
I am no longer a doormat, but there is very little communication and no respect from either of us. I don't know how to have respect for her anymore. I am trying.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I have not completely give up hope. I will check the resources you provided. Some I am familiar with. Others I need to check.
Your post helped immensely.
I thank you so much for the time and effort you put in to posting to me. I will read your post again Monday when W is not around, and I have time to absord all the info.
Thanks again so very much!!!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
We just signed a paper in the eyes of the law and never had a chance for a real ceremony because our D was on the way, and she says that she never knew what marriage was about, so it does not apply to her.
What? That is insane. Just another excuse for a WAW.
Sorry LSG. Keep doing the best you can for you and your kids.
Sometimes "hope" is all there is. That hope has to include that you can help your children get through whatever comes next. The best that you can do for you and your children is to take care of yourself and to treat their mother with respect. She is responsible for her behavior and you can not make her respond the way that you wish. Don't ever disrespect their mom in front of them. But if you truly are divorcing, then your first priority as to be your kids. You will get through this and can reason some of it out but kids, especially little ones have a harder time understanding. Hang in there, conduct yourself with honor and respect yourself. Who knows what tomorrow may bring? There is always hope, no matter how the circumstances change. Blessings