Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

W and I had a court matter unrelated to the D. It started out with W wanting to talk about how we will divide the bank accounts and the credit cards on the way. I just said that the courts will decide these matters. She said that she wants to it be "diplomatic." I just said we will wait for the hearing to find out how diplomatic it will be.

after the court matter, we did talk more like we use to, and I did validate, and I did not argue about anything with her. I just listened to what she had to say. She asked if I knew where we where, and we had a decent time together. She did go to see our D and S at the church and said "hi" which she has not done before.

She said she is glad we both do not have attornies, and I told her that she could be glad about anything she wants to.

We had a nice dinner, and she bought me a soda.

She changed her attitude after she said she had something to do, and she was texting him in the bathroom again, so nothing has changed.

I had a little hope because I saw a glimmer of my W that I once adored and loved so much.

I have to follow through with the D. I do not know how to get her back to me. I still felt for the first time in a long time we could make it, but it quickly faded. It does not feel so good.

This was the first time we really talked to each other in months. Sadly, I believe we will not talk like this again.

It hurts me bad tonight! I will be okay.

we seem to be going down the same path, I'm also SAHD, I think wife is having A but she's smart and has covered her tracks, and she is filing Friday..

She refuses to work on it and just says its over.

I still have hope, but some days it seems very unlikely that we will avoid D. I made mistakes and certainly could have treated her better by listeninig to her etc. but she has not respected me for along time and I fed off that.

anyway, I don't think it hurts to have hope, just don't dwell on it. We both have to focus on the kids and ourselves

hang in there LSG, I know I'm going to

dad1b1g,

I feel so bad for you. I am sorry it has come down to divorce for you. Always keep hope. Things can change in a day.

I agree focusing on yourself and the kids at a time like this is the best thing to do. I have been doing it in my sitch.

Take care yourself and keep optimistic.

how come?




do you understand why she is glad?

do you think she is being "coached" through this divorce?

Steve,

Well...she did apologize because I was not do so good at first when I was being deposed by the attorney, and she was very cocky that she would show me how it is done. This was until the attorney told her that she is doing absolutely terrible on her turn. She seemed to have alot more respect for me after than. I guess this could be part of the reason she was communicating with me more. I do not know for sure because I do not want to mind-read.

I am not sure why she is glad. I guess it could be that she thinks she will have a better chance to win.


I think she is definitely being coached. I think she was fact finding to see what I am up to.

What do you think?

LSG,

I'm so sorry for you. Those glimpses of the love you once shared are the most painful. I have those daily, and it takes all my strength and faith to put them in a box to open at a safe time.

I've learned to accept that I still love my wife, but that nothing I can really do will make our M work. Only she can take the steps to repair it. And I'm constantly wondering if I'll be able to accept her back after so much pain.

God be with you, your kids, and yes, your wife.

My heart goes out to all you guys. I understand how difficult it is as I am going through it all too.

LSG, are you just using your wife's attorney? I wouldn't recommend that. I know funds are scarce, but the court may make her pay your atty fees since you don't have a job. You'd better think long and hard about this. Unless you and she can agree on the terms on your own and you think it is fair, I wouldn't do it. DO NOT let her take advantage of you. Know your rights and what you are entitled to. She may have to pay both child support and spousal support to you until you can find a job. Don't let that slide.

Good luck in court. Stay strong!

DanF,

The attorney we have is a case unrelated to the D.

I do not have an attorney yet for the D, but I have been in contact with one.

Thanks for the support

And why should you? She's going to have to WANT to come back. Let her go. Let her go and live the life she thinks she wants. And you go on with yours.

PH,

The way we were talking yesterday was especially hard because it had been so long to talk, and today it was back to the same thing. I don't think I could go back together with her even if she wanted to.

Thanks for the support. I do appreciate it very much.