Hey guys, Any thoughts on this today I went over to see my S and drop him breakfast before work, but he is still a sleep. In the bathroom is all of W vitamins and I find out she is taking birth control again. In March she stopped taking it all together case it was messing her hormone levels. So I don’t know what to think anymore??
Maybe it’s nothing, but she started taking it while S was a visiting family last week. So add up the D stuff and the fact that the OM was going to be moving up here for work sometime?, and the fact she still has those euphoric lost feelings for him it doesn’t make since.
I’m not looking to snoop anymore, but it was their in her vitamin Box. Why all of a sudden would you start back up again if there was nothing going on?
Maybe I shouldn’t care and believe her as we both said during this time we weren’t dating or going to have sex. I just don’t understand and the fact that our S will be visiting our family for probably 3 weeks & we will have no contact except maybe money. I just need some advice or general thoughts. (Maybe I’m just paranoid) or should I just keep my eyes and ears open?
Set up some form of intel but focus on GAL. You can't control what she will or won"t do and you don"t want to let it get way on you- spending too much time figuring out what she's doing will take a way from YOU. Just been there. Got the shirt. Doesn't fit so good.
Should have spent the time on me.
Once you know there's an OM, that was enough. I had proof.
Thanks, I know I guess she could say the same about me. As I have gone out with my friends more than when W and I were living togeather the differance is I'm not looking and still wear my ring.
Although I think it makes her wonder!! It's just tough b/c part of me wants to believe her based on her past,and she was really remorseful, but I have to watchout for myself as well.
Yeah, I'm wearing my ring, too. She took hers off a couple months back. But I'm married til the paper says I'm not. Just me.
My family is pretty happy cause they've seen D and I more often in the last two months thatn the previous year. And that's good for all of us.
I'm not looking per se either. But I think I'll keep my eyes open more.
Thursday W is coming over after I exposed them to work and OM's parents and tracked down his wife.
They are dommed so I'm sure I'm going to get 10% of the truth but enough for her to say "she's done"
I think she'll be shocked when I agree; and tell her I am in the process of selecting some mediators and finalizing my Separation Agreement.
She'll be looking to push some buttons but I disconnected them all.
Could be a very interesting day. I have two days to relax; prepare and then I get to take D for a week with my family on a lake.
I haven;t seen remorse or anything but I doubt her A will make it to Christmas. It's a stupid, childish fling. Why would a 23 YO Man/boy want to be with a 29 YO single mom? And vice-versa? Basic ego-feeding jollies. Short shelf life.
And I'll be immersed in my new one by then. Won't hear the tree fall in the forest. I'll be on the beach.
Just work on you. That's the best time investment you can make.
It's not riveting, sinus clearing stuff like Allen, or Gucci, or Rob, Sandi or my friend Puppy would give. But it's feet on the street; in the same bunker stuff.
Hey, that's the best kind, and what DB is all about! Folks helping other folks out, from two different spots on the same path.
She'll be looking to push some buttons but I disconnected them all.
Ha! I love that! (I'll have to remember that for future use.... ) That's the kind of detachment that's needed while DBing. Maybe that sentence will make more sense when trying to explain to Newcomers.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hey thanks, work on you as well and have a blast with D. I wear my ring by choice as well and like you said it aint over till its over. I stopp by to see my S as much as I can every morning when I work mornings as well lucky for me I'm only 10 min away.
The one good thing is that My IC/MC/FT says S is doing well. This makes me feel a little better as it’s all about him!! Right now get him every Weds and we go to my place.
This week we going out for a special dinner of his choice, then he goes back home to New England to visit the grand Parents. I'm going to miss the usual family party this year. It’s always great fun as I see my sister-in-law and brother-in-law's and nieces and nephews.
I talked to my sister-in law and brother –in-law the other day. She said I could go and be on opposite side from W. (Made me Laugh). Her husband my-brother-in-law get along great and it was just nice to talk to them. Instead I get to come to my house and watch the pets till she gets back on Tues of next week.
Then S will be up there for at least 3 weeks usually he went home for a few weeks during the summer, but know it’s very different as W and I are separated and heading for D. We use to enjoy the time we had together and both missed him very much.
As far as looking for clues I want too, but unless it’s in plain view I don’t think I should. It just messes with my head.
Think I’m leaving class early tonight to pick up S and bring him to my place and spend a great day together tomorrow before I drop him off.
Hey Guys, Yesterday I spent most of the day with my S before he and W leave to go back home this morning. He will probably be gone for about 3 weeks (which sucks) although S and I had a great time we saw Grown Up’s pretty funny if ya wanna laugh. W comes back Tues. and I get to watch the pets while she’s gone; at least I can take my Great Dane for walks. Anyway it sucks because not only will I miss S more I ‘m missing the Family party. In her family no one really understands are situation of why we’re D except that it’s not my decision.
This whole thing sucks and I hate to think of all the things I could have done from being here, but I can’t keep looking in the past… Yes had some contributing factors to her decision on the D.
However this was her choice and it was her decision to go outside the M. I want to move forward and save the M; it’s just tough when I have days like this knowing that for the first time in 6 yrs that we aren’t going home together, or i my efforts are paying off at all sometimes I think so.
It’s just hard to tell because were separated, trying not to talk too much, the fact that the OM might still be in the picture etc. I don’t have a clue where we stand about the separation agreement or pending D (Oh well). This week I’m going to call some mediators that my IC/MC recommended.
(Like to try to avoid lawyer fees, I just don’t know where we stand after our last argument /talk). IC/MC has helped a lot, and is glad that I went on this site for support and advice. As I wasn’t sure at first, but I’m truly glad I did; and I can’t thank everyone enough for all the advice and kind words it helps out a lot.
Just wanted to say hey guys, It’s almost 100 here in VA.( just trying to keep cool) I was wondering if you guys could help me with some goals or more advice!! OK I know now is me time!! I need to work on myself and where I want to be and little by little I'm working on that.
For the first time in years I feel like myself again and not a doormat; although I do have my days when my emotions get the best of me… I just want to keep fighting for my M, and not lose my Hope for it to be a better one than before ( a new chapter )!! Thanks guys Hope
) That's the kind of detachment that's needed while DBing. Maybe that sentence will make more sense when trying to explain to Newcomers.