Hi Dan- I've seen you post on some other threads and wanted to catch up on your situation. Finally made it through all of your thread tonight. It's always fun to read from beginning to present in one sitting and see how someone has evolved and is growing- you sound much happier and much less affected by W than you did at first. Good for you for GAL and being a good dad. Funny, I was reading about your upcoming vacation and I have a similar thing next month. When I mentioned it to H he asked "Aren't husbands invited too?" What is it with them that they don't get that when they don't want you anymore they also won't be entitled to do all of the fun family stuff, either? Part of me wants him to come b/c it might be fun still and part of me wants to teach him that lesson about not getting to do all the fun stuff. You and I are also similar in that we've invited our S's to do family stuff while they have not invited us (well, my H is inconsistent). I've got a small child who has no idea what's going on, so for now I will do stuff as a family where it's relatively comfortable, for her sake. But with your older kids, I think you're striking the right balance with it.
Sorry, it's now late and looks like I'm rambling. I am trying to catch up with people here as my new self (been around awhile, different name) and establish some new ties :-). Will be interested to see how your sitch plays out. Can't add much to the cigar conversation, though I did smoke my first a couple months ago, just to try it!
Thanks (((Nikita))). You're not rambling. That is a pretty short post. Some of mine get ridiculously long.
WAS are so weird. My W is claiming to be the victim through all this. I'm the one who is "beating her down", "Sticking it to her", and causing her all the stress. Poor W.
Good luck with your sitch. I will try to catch-up with it sometime. There are so many on here it is tough to stay on top of them all.
I'd say go on the vacation without H.
I'll catch up with you soon and thanks for the support. I am feeling a lot better lately.
W took kids to the movies yesterday, along with another friend. I heard her whining to D that she doesn't have any money. The left around noon and I left shortly after to meet some friends for lunch. Turns out that the free ticket I was supposed to get for the Country music festival fell through. Tickets were $75, so I opted out, since I didn't want to spend that much to see music that I don't even like.
So instead, I hung out with a friend of mine, who bought me a really nice cigar. Sat under the tree in the shade at his house for a while and then went to a friend of his house. There was a pool there and it was very hot, so the guy lent me a suit and I went in for a little bit. A bunch of other guys came over and we order some pizza's and drank some beers.
Got home about 10pm and went over to the neighbors house to BS with them. Lights were still on at my house, so W was up. I drank a diet coke and then went home. Lights are on all over the house, TV is on, but no one is around. I look upstairs and W is closed in her bedroom again, probably on the phone. So, I turn off a bunch of the lights and go back to the neighbors. Lights go out at my house shortly after and I go home shortly after that.
Didn't say anything to W in the morning and she responded in kind. Got ready and asked her if she had a grocery list or if I should just buy what I think we need. No list, but she makes some suggestions as to what to get.
Me: Do you have any money for bills?
W: Not right now, I get paid on Thursday.
Me: Ok, most of the bills aren't due until then anyway.
I get ready and go to the store.
W is going back to her hometown this weekend to visit with her Mom and go to a party at a friends house. Back sometime tomorrow. She is gone when I return.
Kids and I got free tickets for the Brewers and are going to a tailgate party with a bunch of old family friends. Should be a good time.
In the brightest hour of my darkest day, I realized what is wrong with me. Can't get over you, can't get through to you, it's been a helter skelter romance from the start. Take these memories that are haunting me, of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors, he'll never forgive her. He'll never forgive her.
Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table While I look outside So many things I’d say if only I were able But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by
You’ve got opinions, man We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine And get out of here fast
I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning There’s no one here to save
Who cares if you disagree? You are not me Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?
You sound so innocent, all full of good intent Swear you know best But you expect me to jump up on board with you And ride off into your delusional sunset
I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction But you’ll never see You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps You got the talking down, just not the listening
And who cares if you disagree? You are not me Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?
All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy While I just hurt and hide Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide
Who cares if you disagree? You are not me Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?
Who cares if you disagree? You are not me Who made you king of anything? So you dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?
Kids and I had a great time at the Brewers game last night. Score tied at 3 in the bottom of the 9th with 2 men on base. Ryan Braun hits a line shot off the wall that wins the game! Exciting stuff.
I saw some old friends yesterday that I haven't seen in years. I think maybe 10 years for one of them. These are old neighbors of mine when I was growing-up. Everyone has been so nice and supportive of me in this situation. That made me tear up a bit last night.
We had a great "tailgate" party before the game. For those of you not familiar with that term, it is essentially a picnic in the parking lot before the game. Thousands and thousands of people cooking out, playing baggo and other games. Sharing food, drinks, stories. It really is a lot of fun.
I did have an episode early on where I was missing W and feeling a little down, but then I started in with a game with some others and forgot about it. I did break down a bit on the ride home.
It's funny too, because I actually believe that I could probably find someone else who is more compatible for me than W. I guess the problem is the "probably" part. Fear of the unknown. My history is to get comfortable and stick with it. I've worked at my current employer for more than 20 years.
All the lies she has told me, the A with the OM, her delusional fantasy life, the shitty way she treated me when I was trying so hard to change to do the things she wanted and make a deeper emotional connection are all combining to make me wonder if I should even keep trying or just move on. I really think that I could do better.
But then there are still these deep feelings that I have for her. And the kids.
I really do think that W is going to be shocked when she finds out what her financial position is going to be at the end of this. But I don't want her back just because of the money either.
We had a great "tailgate" party before the game. For those of you not familiar with that term, it is essentially a picnic in the parking lot before the game. Thousands and thousands of people cooking out, playing baggo and other games. Sharing food, drinks, stories. It really is a lot of fun.
I'm thinking Clements' brats and some PBRs???
Man, down here, they take a simple "brat-and-a-beer" thing like tailgaiting, and start doing 50' motorhomes, Low Country boils, lobster, etc. -- pffffftttt!!! Sacrilege!!
Those are good calls, but being originally from Sheboygan WI, home of the brat, our mothers brought down some Miesfelds brats from a local butcher shop. My favorites. We also had "hard rolls" from City Bakery. It is the only town I know of where you can get this kind of rolls. We had various Leinenkugel's beers and the standard Miller Lite.
I did see a group that has a very large U-haul truck for their party and another with a converted ambulance that was all painted-up Brewers style. One of our "neighbors" in the lot brought over pudding shots. Never had one of those before.
All in all, it was a very good time. Just have to keep working on getting past the low spots.
