Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My Wife is Having an Affair with Co-Worker

Good luck and good night!

Hi MelodyJ,

I hope next will be a good one for you. It does go pretty quick.

I hope you had some sleep last night.

Thanks for the posts to me.

I did expose the affair to her work too, but there was no change, and they said they would do nothing about it because it a personal issue for me and her.

I have been doing everything I am able to think of.

I am detached and do not pursue. It is very difficult at this point because what I have done is not working.

It has only pushed them closer together. It started as an EA and now is a PA.

I am at the point where just have to let go completely.

We do have court hearing at the beginning of August.

I have made many mistakes along the way. I got caught up in a made up consequence if we D and this was the wrong thing to do. It has further driven her away and gave her reason to want to be out the door for good.

I made this mistake, but I have done fairly well of keeping the detaching going.

Communication is little to nothing between me and my STBXW. We argue if we do talk. I am wondering what more I am able to do to be effective in a last ditch effort to save my M if possible.

She seems to be totally against working on the M and continuing her A with OM.

I know everyone here has good ideas to help me to do my best to deal with my situation.

Please give me some advice on how to proceed from here since my W has already filed for D.

Thank you!

Do you have a list of people whom you have exposed this to and their position on the issue?

Hi Allen,

I have exposed to only a couple of neighbor friends, her work anonymously, her family (they support her), and the OMW. Not really any of her friends.

That is all I have exposed too. It seems to have made no difference. It may have made her more determined to divorce.

It seems so far the people that I have exposed to except the neighbors and the OMW don't really care.

OKay, it is veyr likely your exposure approach...

Exaclty what did you say and in what format?

I am seeing

Neighbour 1 - response?
Neighbour 2 - response?
Workplace (WHO at work - HR?)
What famly members in particualar?
OMW - response was?

Need summarized details LSG, its very hard to help withot them

I would like to see you post a sample of the script you gave them when you exposed to each of these people?

Allen,

I have made so many mistakes from day of finding out about the affair my W is having. I did not find DB for a long time into the A that I think I caused a lot more damage to my R with my W than the A. After I found a posting with mb28, you, and some other people on this thread, I started to have a glimmer of hope. I did not sign on to the forum initially, but I learned alot from the exchanges on that thread, and I followed it to the unfortunate end for mb28. It was a sad turn of events for her.

Neighbour 1 - response? I approached the neighbor about their D, and how it happened. She told me her H had 4 affairs, and then I discussed my situation with my W.
Neighbour 2 - response? I asked for help with my kids, and I had no money, so I told him about the affair, and he helps me to watch them from time to time because he is religious and hates affairs. He did not confront either.
Workplace (WHO at work - HR?) I called using a script from mb28's thread and customized it to fit my situation. I contacted HR anonymously first, and then I was told to call the Ethics hotline, and I used the script. Nothing I heard happened. HR said it was personal issue to work between us. No help.
What famly members in particualar? I told her sister to ask about the OM. I messed up completely, and W told her parents. This was before I knew anything about DBing. I sure could have used this site from day one.
OMW - response was? I used another script from here. OMW told me she knew he was going to cheat, and she was sorry it was done to my family. She and I met and I showed her my intel that I had gathered. She wants some e-mails I have, and I will give them to her. Attorney said it is safe and legal to do. I do not want to hurt my divorce if I cannot save the marriage.

I have made so many mistakes. I am NC as much as possible. We still live together, so it is difficult to do completely. I do not discuss our R. It is a little better these days, but she is still communicating with him, but she is very careful now. She filed for D first. I did not want to be the one to do it because I want my kids to someday know I did everything possible to save the marriage.

I have failed so far. This is my last chance.

I hope the above info. helps.

I thank you for stopping by my thread. I have admired the help you have given so many for so long. The help you gave to mb28 is the reason I am on DBing.

Thank you so much and everyone here that has helped me so far to get myself together. I am working on becoming a better person if anything.

Journaling July 2, 2010:

Today I woke up same as every Friday, and I did the laundry, woke up the kids, made their beds, showered, and did some cleaning around home. The kids did make breakfast and requesting W and I stay in bed late today. We did. It was very nice. The kids try so hard, so I am so sad for them.

I took kids to the regular park with a pond and to the Doggie park. We spent all day gone.

W said she was going to lunce with her friend. I think she did, but she may have seen OM too.

She has been nicer and asking me if I want anything more often, but I know she is still TM the OM.

My D is having a sleepover at a friends tonight.

S is sleeping in our bed tonight which I am trying to stop, but he is having a hard time with everything. He sees the way W and I interact, so he says our family is messed up. It breaks my heart for him. He is a sweet boy. Both my kids are sweet and hurting, so I let him when D is gone.