Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives Just found out she already filed

That makes you a bigger person, Romeo!

I remember helping my XW after the divorce by resetting her cable modem and router.

Little did I know that she was using her internet connection and mine while we were married to have an online love affair.

My only regret was not putting a keylogger on her laptop as soon as she told me she was moving into my Son's old bedroom.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Why g450? How would knowing that have made any difference? Didn't her moving into your son's old room WITHOUT YOU give you some kind of clue already? I dunno, sometimes I think we sit there and say "if only I'd known...." but really what difference would it have made? So you'd have moved out and started grieving a few months earlier. Big deal! Maybe in the the big picture of divorce it's just a small drop in a big pond which we choose to turn into a tidal wave. If you had of known maybe you would have stayed and DB'd anyway, I did. I say put the "if only I'd's" behind you, it's history.

Well done finding a way to help her while also sounding impartial! Clever.

Yes it's history now.

But had I know this was going on I could have busted the affair Puppydog style. That is the approach that he preaches to help save the marriage.

But you have a point. In my case it may not have given me any more of a chance as she was done.

And yes I would have DB'd my butt off. I did. Didnt do much good.

Thanks guys!!

g450, wii beat me to it but I was also going to reply that it wouldn't matter whether we know something or not they'll do what they want to do. I could say that about anything like...I bought her the car she drives- the same car she drove to some random a-hole's place to have the PA. Or I bought her the iphone/laptop/etc etc that I'm sure was also used in a manner that was improper to me. Heck I could say that about her clothes and jewlery that she probably wore around me and around whomever. The bottom line is we're left in a manner that tempts us to analyze everything and waste our mind on useless cycles. I've been starting to watch this myself now. Like the whole router thing etc...right before leaving work I was like...you know what? I'm sitting here wasting hours on a simple darn thing. I'm going to tell her how to do it and if it helps great if not oh well...I'm going to go home, work out, watch a movie...oh and spend a few hours on here

Just got done with my workout- I have to say after 5 days of no work out I had to force myself. I almost skipped it and would've waste a few hours in front of the tv or the computer. Now I'm glad I didn't- I really need heavier weights at this point but i'm so worried about spending money on anything now. My Amazon wishlist is longer than ever because there are so many things I'd love to buy that before I didn't have to think twice about but now I just save them for 'later' whatever that is going to be.

OK, I got the movie 'Taken' in the mail- that'll be a good flick after a couple weeks of G rated cartoons lol

g450, I too DB'd my butt of and got nado for it as far as saving my marriage! But, by doing it I developed new interests, activities and a new respect for myself. And, in my case, my wife actually noticed and was impressed with the changes I made in my life. She saw a man who could survive and would survive without her, not a whimpering bowl of jelly who is nothing without her. That's the way I want her to see me!
Now back to Romeo

I think I'm a whimpering bowl of jelly? need a bit more freezing

Ok so some where in here I didn't realize that you were an IT guy. So yes it makes sense for you to help with the resetting of the modem. I think you did fine.

Keep hanging in there.

kat

no, you are firming up by the day Now get your firm butt (!) over to my thread and weigh in. Yeah, I know I'm a pain, want you here and in the alt, but I gotta get it going here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...15#Post2036815.

Also, if you have time, please weigh in on this poor soul. He reminds me a teeny tiny bit of you a couple months ago (but I don't think you were ever this despondent and you're WAY further along in your thinking- I think his responses kind of dropped off): http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...p;#Post2037174.

As for heavier weights- you might check craigslist or freecycle- I bet lots of people have some to get rid of. If that fails, lift DD (only half kidding)- she must be what- 40+ lbs?