Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy My teenage son cut his arm with knife

The reason why the son did it doesn't matter to the context of the post...

The H doesn't want to be a family anymore so Ignore his Text messages... he's a cowardly weasel

I just see this all the time...

The wayward spouse is WAYWARD and AWAL.. then a crisis happens (other than the infidelity) and the wayward spouse starts sending text messages like the give a damn...

My advice stands : Ignore his text messages and leave him squirm

It wasnt just because I took computer away its all of the problems h cause for the past 3 yrs with his infidelity. S uses computer to escape from having to deal with the hurt of his father betraying us and that is not healthy.

If he uses the computer in a constructive way and maybe to express himself, then it is healthy. Did he actually say that it was his way of escaping from what his father is doing? I don't recall if you mentioned that he said that. The thing is that you want to find out (from his mouth) what is bothering him and not what might be bothering him.

Having him play tennis maybe isn't something he wants to do but is only doing it to make you happy. If he likes it, then great. But if its something he's forcing himself to do, then it's not healthy because he'll be under pressure to make YOU happy. Got it?

The only reason I bring this up is because you posted that he cut himself giving the implication that they were serious physically. Then in your post today it almost seemed like you made them seem like no big deal and that it was only because you took away his computer. Did the C tell you to take it away?

Then in another post you rant about how your H is horrible, you're going to see a L, etc. But then in another you say that you're going to fight for the marriage. I'm just concerned is all.

My sons therapist wants all 3 of us to come to the session tomorrow for my son's well being. I am nervous about seeing h. I am keeping the focus on my son not h now. Last time we went it seemed like h was flirting with therapist. He is on such and ego trip. He thinks he is Gods gift now, no humility.

"seemed like h was flirting with therapist. He is on such and ego trip. He thinks he is Gods gift now, no humility."

See this is what I'm talking about. You are coming up with your own fantasies of what your H is or isn't doing. This has to stop especially in front of your son. If you are saying this type of thing here, it makes me wonder what you actually say in front of your son.

Like it or not your H is your son's father. If you start talking bad about him to your son, you will alienate your son. Don't be surprised if he starts to stick up for his dad because it will happen.

Besides, if your ultimate goal is to R with your H, why would you even want to if you think so badly of him? If you hate him so much, then get a D. Simple as that.

Are you still seeing your C and taking your medication?

It's obvious you and I do not see eye to eye . I dont know why you continue to respond to my posts. Are you taking your medication. I think you should take a break from these boards i see you post many times a day even in the middle of the night. Maybe you should GAL instead of judging and criticizing people.

What's obvious is that you've evaded all of the questions. Be honest here. Look how many original posters aren't even responding to you any more. You haven't listened to any one.

Have I judged or criticized you? No. I simply asked questions out of concern. You were the one who mentioned that you were taking medication, but was taking it sporadically because it would affect your moods.

I simply asked you what it is you want. You're the one who has been criticizing your H one minute, then wanting him back so badly the next. As a former crisis C, I can see what it is you're going through.

What you're going through right now is hard, I get it. I've been going through the same. All I'm saying is to deal with it in a healthy way.

Did it ever occur to you that your son may be acting out because of how you were acting as well as his father? You never did answer the question of why you banned him from using the computer. YOU might have thought it was unhealthy, but maybe to him he needed an outlet. If you are thinking about your son. See to his needs gently based on what he's comfortable with. Not you.

"Last time we went it seemed like h was flirting with therapist. He is on such and ego trip. He thinks he is Gods gift now, no humility."

See this is you projecting and criticizing. Not me. I've done nothing even remotely similar to that.

Have you ever asked yourself why no one from your older posts have responded to you?