Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
What do you know about gambling addictions? Have you been through a similar sit?

I think the number that he was given to call called and left a message about making an appointment yesterday. I told him but he didn't want the information to call them back. I was thinking of calling them and giving them his cell phone to call but I am not sure if this is a good idea since he doesn't seem to really want help. I don't understand why he won't get help. He admits it is a problem and he doesn't have control but yet won't get help. It is so infuriating.


M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 477
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 477
Hi,
I am sorry that you are going through this. Gambling can be an addiction that will take its toll on the family. There are meetings for families of gamblers (similar to AA). We also have a wonderful coach that deals with addictions and with marriages in crisis and would help you to clarify your thinking, focus on your goals and help you come up with a very detailed action plan to get the relationship moving in the right direction. I wish you and your family the best.


Karen, Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004
karen@divorcebusting.com

Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 414
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 414
That is a tough one. You have to write your plan down and stick with it. Try to keep emotions out of your plan. I would and I don't think anyone would ever tell you to leave so that he will believe that you are serious. That has to be your choice. I mean, that is a big step that there maybe no return from. I wish you luck and peace. Crying stinks. I have cried so much that I can't do it any more.

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
So I have made some changes this weekend.

Started to GAL. Friday I went up to see some girlfriends and stayed over. I didn't tell my H that I was doing that so when he came home in the morning I wasn't there for once. I am not sure if he called b/c I didn't see any missed calls on my phone but when I listened to messages later that day there was an odd message from him. He sounded depressed and was just wondering what the plan was for the day.

I went to work Saturday and then came home. He asked if I had a good time friday night and then asked me what my plans were for the day. I then told him that friends were coming down to visit. He seemed surprised and literally 30 seconds later the doorbell went and I went out with them and took our D. Came home later and was giving D a bath and then H came home. I didn't hear him come in and then realized he was standing in the door way watching us. He was smiling.

I thought finally a change. He was even wearing the watch that i had given him for our anniversary last year. But the good signs didn't last long. He made me angry later b/c I noticed his phone was different and instead of just asking him I looked over at him a couple of times and he got angry with me and told me to stop staring at him. If i look at him the wrong way I can screw things up! It is so tiring!

Again at 12:30pm that night he came to me to tell me he was going out and I told him I was going to go out. He got very angry and then said he would take our D to his sisters! He is nuts at 12:30pm he is going to disrupt her sleep and drop her off somewhere so he can do whatever it is he is doing!

It ended in he will file for divorce, he hates me and b/c I am not being nice to him he will not give me anything i.e. I won't be able to have the house.


M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,164
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,164
Nice job!! Keep on standing your ground. You will see that anger when he feels the lose of control.

Only believe what he does n not what he says. He is just trying to manipulate you with threats and guilt. Classic script.

Keep it up.

PMA

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
Please if anyone is out there i am in crisis mode. I have just found all of the texts and pins. There is another woman!! I had suspected but didn't have the evidence and he continued to deny. I am tempted to send him a text saying that I know everything and use the pet name that she has given him.....please stop me now!!!

Last edited by botanygirl; 07/13/10 05:18 AM.

M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
((((((bg))))))

STOP NOW!

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
You know it won't help... for now, keep it under your hat. It may be good for you to know, and him think you don't.

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
I know but I am literally shaking and I think I am going to throw up. It has made me sick the crap that he has said to her...saying he loves her...she is his lover and all the dirty texting. It is gut wrenching. Especially b/c he has never said or done anything like that with me.


M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 57
At some point I will have to confront him with the information. What is the best approach?


M=42
H=51
Common-law 6yr
Children: 11yr old daughter (previous marrIage) 6yr old son
Bomb dropped January 2013
Page 2 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5