Cathy, Just be patient, enjoy the show from the curb as Annette would say. This was an inswing, now maybe an outswing, maybe another inswing will happen soon. Take care of yourself.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I'm coming here for advice. T2 gave me some advice last night, that I should tell me H that I will not allow him to speak to me the way he has been. That H should speak to me with respect. T2 if you're out there could you please post those words one more time?
I am just so tired of the abuse, the nastiness, everything H puts out there to hurt me. I mean really tired, I just can't take it anymore.
Could anyone let me know how they handled this situation with their WA's? I just can't take the verbal abuse anymore and want it to stop. I have to be strong once again and get the words past my lips so H knows that he can't continue to talk to me the way he has been. I'm drained and beat to the ground. My nerves are shot.
I basically had to do the same thing. T2 is right, you need to let him know that you understand that he is going through something. That you are hear to listen if he wants to talk but he doesn't need to disrespect you. That you still love him and that you are still here but if he can not speak to you with respect, then don't bother talking to you and walk away. Do not say it in anger or with emotion. Just simply state it and then leave it be. Then when he starts speaking to you that way, just don't respond but walk out of the room or away from him.
Cathy, Good luck with that one. My H has been nasty and disrespectful to me a few times. At first, he used to come back the next day and apologize. It was like an abusive drunk. Hit you then apologize, hit then apologize. Finally he just stopped apologizing.
I have told him a few times whenever I thought he disrespected me, but it hasn't changed anything. I hope you have success with talking to him.
Go in with no expectations, and see what happens.
But I agree that if he continues to do it, walk out of the room. No one should be treated that way, and YOU certainly deserve more!
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
We call them cool Those hearts that have no scars to show The ones that never do let go And risk the tables being turned
We call them fools Who have to dance within the flame Who chance the sorrow and the shame That always comes with getting burned
But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire 'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
We call them strong Those who can face this world alone Who seem to get by on their own Those who will never take the fall
We call them weak Who are unable to resist The slightest chance love might exist And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire
Standing outside the fire Standing outside the fire Life is not tried, it is merely survived If you're standing outside the fire
There's this love that is burning Deep in my soul Constantly yearning to get out of control Wanting to fly higher and higher I can't abide Standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire Standing outside the fire Life is not tried, it is merely survived If you're standing outside the fire
Standing outside the fire Standing outside the fire Life is not tried, it is merely survived If you're standing outside the fire
I love this song, up until I turned 30 I was "standing outside the fire" I wouldn't trade any of what's happened to me up until this very moment and go back either!! I have never felt so alive in my life and I am dancing within the flames and I can survive, I will survive.
H called me this morning, about daycare issue. And then added that H just saw a buck run by with an arrow in it..
I said I hadn't heard from the woman yet. Then asked what S said after he left, I said nothing. I said S didn't go to sleep till 10:30. I asked how long of a nap son took and H said a "good one" I said well S probably shouldn't have slept that long. H then said, well if you can't take his blanket away or get S to go to bad like I want S to then that's what happens, his tone made me mad so I just changed the subject.
I should say that part of the trouble with S going to bed at night is ME! Yes ME!! I get on the internet and this site and can't pull myself away, and therefore let S stay up a little later, a little later, "just a minute" I'll be right there I tell S.... I admit it and I'm admitting to you all first. So it wasn't really that S took too long of a nap, it was me not getting S settled down to go to sleep...
H sounded mad that he had to spend so much time yesterday cutting up his deer, but then admitted "mabye it's just because I'm so picky" as to why it took so long. H is, H trims as much fat as he can, it makes for better tasting meat too. This was a positive for my H!!
We then talked about him hunting this weekend with "fat*ss, his friend...I just laughed.
Maybe H is grumpy and negative on Monday's, but I'm not the best either on Monday's, so the two of us together is what makes for trouble...hmmmm.
I did have a litte pity party for myself as I was getting ready for work this morning, also.
I agree with the letting him know that you will be treated with respect.
I know one thing that worked for me is when H was saying mean things I would say something like... Did you just call to say Hi or was there something else I could help you with? That took the air out of his sails and forced him to either say, yes, water I just called to be a jerk. Or to say hi. Then I would tell him I appreciated his call and would end the call.
Yes, you can walk out, but what would you do if it were someone other then your husband doing this? Would you just walk out of the room or would you say something and then back it up with some action?
If saying something is different for you, then that is a 180 and you may get a response. If you say nothing and that is normal, then he will continue.
You know your husband the best and you know what it going to work or not work with him.
I admit it and I'm admitting to you all first. So it wasn't really that S took too long of a nap, it was me not getting S settled down to go to sleep... 
