Welcome back G...hope you had a good time. Didn't realize the kids went with you.
Must feel weird to see the D papers but it's nothing new. She wanted it you gave it to her. That's really it. Take care.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I've felt different since I've been home. Maybe it's the vacation, or having gotten the papers, but my head is quieter. I feel a little more focused. Maybe it's some acceptance, and seeing a little more who I am now.
I think it serves me well to think about this in simple terms. And it's pretty simple. My main problem right now is how much I miss her. Going back to the goals I wrote... building a satisfying life for myself, and building a healthy post-D relatinship with her (with the primary goal being co-parenting) - missing her like this is the problem that's going to upset the apple cart. I still have crying fits. You know, Bill pointed this out - achieving the stability is going to be the key. The moment-by-moment decisions of how I'm going to respond. It's a matter of discipline, at least that's how I'm seeing it now.
Sorry to hear about the papers. Each step along the D process, including getting the final papers was not easy. And even now, I still have moments where it's tough, esp. when I can't be with the kids. I can't even imagine what it's like for the WAS to go through when it's their decision.
I do think co-parenting is a good goal, but I think you and your X both need some time spent detaching, before you'll be able to successfully co-parent. I'm not saying you can't be civil & polite, but you need to get some distance first before really working on co-parenting imo.
Yeah. I intentionally spoke to her very little last week. Of course, it's easier when we're not in the same state. So, the challange is to limit exposure day-to-day.
I did speak to her early in the week, and my sister commented on how much it affected me.
I've set myself up for a hard road I guess, with this custody arrangement. She said yesterday I could hang out at her apartment with the three of them and watch a movie. Well, I didn't. But it's hard to not give in.
Anway, like I said, looking at it as a matter of discipline.
It does feel different knowing I'm not married anymore. Hopefully it will make it easier to inject some distance.
Kind of feel like the hurricane is over, now it's just very quiet and I'm assessing what's still standing and what's gone.
It's weird, I realized that I still in some regards feel like she's still living in the house, like I'm keeping things up until she returns. There are drawers in the kitchen that I've never opened... the boys made a mess with water balloons yesterday, and in cleaning it up I "discovered" these drawers, and the stuff that she kept in them. In small ways, I'm still doing things the way she did them, keeping it the way she did. Like she still lives there.
She still has clothes in the closet.
It's still weird waking up without her. It's been almost a year.
I guess that urge to call her, ask her to come home, all that crap, I know it's wanting the old her. The before-all-this-happened her. But the hurricane has come through, and you can't undo that.
Have the paperwork together to refi the house, get her name off of it.
I want to start putting your things away; for example, the clothes that are in the closet, and a variety of other things still in the house. There's no particular urgency, I just need to do it. Wanted to ask what you prefer - do you want to pack these things up, do you want me to do it, etc. Please let me know. ---- No drama here. Just what's going on. I guess I'm just journaling.
