Not to contact David, and if he should contact me, keep it low key, no R talk and no emotional talk.
Have not initiated contact since 11/23 when I sent H an email explaining something that I believed had been a misunderstanding between us. Responded on 11/24 to the response he sent to that e-mail and responded on 11/26 to Happy Thanksgiving e-mail that he sent.
Kept responses short and light.
Not to push anything forward on the D
Have put settlement proposal letter away and not contacted attorney to begin any work on counter proposal.
Keep working on the house till I get it organized, to try to keep my mind from going nuts.
Small progress, not huge, but keep taking baby steps!
Remember to stop and deal with my emotions rather than let them out.
Have been sitting with lots of emotions. Just thinking them through, letting myself do the negative thinking, it generally runs its course and then I start with the backtalk to it. It is hard but it seems to be helping. Not posting as many of my emotions as previously either. Really trying to address them for myself.
Continue to give H space and no contact initiated by me but would like to see him initiate one contact a week, would feel that the giving him space is being noticed and he feels safe enough in my control to not go off on him if he initiates a contact. Is this a doable baby step or still too big of a goal? Any thoughts on this one?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Ok, I don't think this is a good positively stated goal. Needs work.
Quote:
Continue to give H space and no contact initiated by me but would like to see him initiate one contact a week, would feel that the giving him space is being noticed and he feels safe enough in my control to not go off on him if he initiates a contact. Is this a doable baby step or still too big of a goal? Any thoughts on this one?
New Goals:
1: Give my H enough space that hopefully he will choose to contact me.
2: Continue to do my daily meditations in order to remain in a positive mindset.
3: Do more with friends, visiting or doing fun projects.
4: Get back into my hobbies and some fun activities.
5: Continue reading DR and working on threads Sage started as well as the book from C on cognitive thinking.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Quote: I have been giving my brain a workout here lately!
I sure can tell that you have!
This is a really great way to do it, though! It takes a LOT of practice to really get your mind to work in these "solution-oriented" ways, but once you do, it starts to become more of a "habit"!
You're on your way, my dear!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
I just noticed that you are from the great PNW. I thought I was all alone up here. I wonder why I never noticed that before. Probably becausee I mostly hang out in MLC. I decided to lurk aroung some other forums today for a change.
Not really much dbing to do in my case. H is totally gone, in love with OW and D is under way. Anyway, I just noticed where you are and thought I'd pop in. jaycee
I want to improve the romance in our life. So, it's my goal to be more romantic. I will stop waiting for him to be romantic and initiate romance myself....As a result of this, H will be more romantic.
My first attempt at this was Thanksgiving Day...here's what happened...
Started this by sending him a pic of me all dressed up on Thanksgiving. He was at work..he's turned it into wallpaper on his work computer now! I sent him the pic and then emailed him asking if he'd gotten a pic of real hot chick lately. He called and I asked him again about this hot chick he'd gotten a photo of...he said yeah, he had gotten a pic of a hot chick and she was now wallpaper on his computer....I was romantic, flirtatious, etc...and he responded with same!
meditate every day (15 mins) do flybaby assignment or just general declutter (15 mins) exercise (30 mins)
Goal #2 Do 2 things each week that I wouldn't normally do -- possibilities are endless here...eat something I normally wouldn't, go somewhere I wouldn't go, etc. Think up cool things.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
