I had been snooping around and found out my wife has OM in picture. She sent him pictures, calls and text him nonstop. She even meet him when she went on thr Arkansas trip.
I feel so hurt.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
I confront her, Move back into the house? Sorry I am so confused and hurt....my mind is jello now.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
Yeah, I was afraid of this when I posted to you that "something on her trip caused her to pull back." I'm so sorry, CP -- I know how this feels, and "stabbed" is a pretty good description.
I know you don't feel it right now, but there IS a positive to this, in that it (an affair) does help explain nearly all of your wife's behaviors since you started posting to us. Her conflicting feelings towards you, if affected by the chemical rush of an addiction to OM (and it is exactly that -- an addiction) are now, in hindsight, all easily explained.
My advice for you right now is NOT to do ANYTHING for the next 24-48 hours, other than post here and gather more intel. You only get ONE SHOT at this, and even tho I tell EVERYONE that, nearly everyone goes off half-cocked and BLOWS it.
You also might want to see if you can circle back and update your attorney on this latest development.
I had been snooping around and found out my wife has OM in picture. She sent him pictures, calls and text him nonstop. She even meet him when she went on thr Arkansas trip.
I feel so hurt.
Please let us know the source of your intel. How do you know all of this??
Thanks puppy. I really want to confront her on this today, But I guess I can hold off. It will be hard.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: CPCajun
I know I have some reading to do, but what now?
I confront her, Move back into the house? Sorry I am so confused and hurt....my mind is jello now.
Refresh my memory . . . WHY are you not living in your own house? And are you satisfied with the arrangement?I move to the apartment in the back of our property as I thought it would help cool things down. I "thought" my temper,anger, and verbal abuse caused this. As it is said ...Do the right thing. I thought this was it, plus I dont have enough funds to move out.
Puppy
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Originally Posted By: CPCajun
I have been stabbed.
I had been snooping around and found out my wife has OM in picture. She sent him pictures, calls and text him nonstop. She even meet him when she went on thr Arkansas trip.
I feel so hurt.
Please let us know the source of your intel. How do you know all of this??
Puppy
Something bugged me. One her spending, mostly on clothes, and cosmetics.....Especially about the trip, like you said it changed. I started snooping. I installed a keylogger into the PC and waited. I got a password by accidentally getting W to log into a account, I dont recall. Since most prople use the same password, it was all over after this. I was able to log into her email, FB, Cell records, etc. (Plus I found a risque photo on her laptop in the recycle bin. I asked her, but she said it was for me but never sent it cause we fought that night.)
I have been busy since 2AM doing this Once I gained access to the cell records, I seen it. . One number called to Oklahoma. Text and pictures messages. All hours of the day and running into the night. Since I had a number and location, I used the one thing I hate now, FB. It took a while, but I found one guy from OK. It was there I noticed subtle messages. W replied to a few. On one entry OM says he someone wonderful came into his life...back in February.(It really hurts to see that back that far) This morning I wok up extra early. Snuck in the house and grabed the iphone.(another clue since she keeps a death grip on it.)This is the actual ripping part. I found text to her friends and even to my daughter...MY OWN DAUGHTER KNEW. W was so excited to go see OM on the trip, they scheduled to meet up. How he is the love of her life. OM would not hurt her like I did. She is smart and covered her tracks as there are no text between each other. I did find a yahoo messenge where she talked to her and they exchanged pics. I cound not figure a way to send it to a personal email as evidence. She also goes on to tell her friends, where the single men at.
I will tell my L as now things have changed. But now what do I do? Sitting for 24-48 will kill me. Even after this weekend It seemd that so much progress was made between us.
Thanks puppy. I can say you are a real friend I can count on.
So now what. She will see that my mood has changed.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
She knows something is up. She texting me that she know I was in the house. The iphone may of given my up. I dont know how to use those things.
Yup she knows I was in her phone it confirmed. Now she said we have no trust.
Last edited by CPCajun; 07/05/1001:37 PM.
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
But now what do I do? Sitting for 24-48 will kill me.
No it won't. Listen to Puppy. WAIT. I understand that you are devastated, and that is exactly why you are in no position to do anything. Your emotions make you weak and you need to deal with this from a position of strength. Remove yourself from the situation, lock away your cell phone ... whatever it takes, WAIT.
Does she know the source of your intel, since you confronted her?
It's probably compromised now anyway, and she'll probably, I would think, change her passwords. And you have enough anyway.
Talk to your atty, and then we can help you with a plan. I am just SEETHING over the fact that she told her 14-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER about this! What a horseshit mother, I'm sorry. I think filing for D, going for full custody, needs to be one of the options we openly discuss here, as this woman is OVER-THE-TOP addicted to this crap, and it's now affecting your children.