If you can trust OW BF to Keep his mouth shut and he's helping you fine... I do NOT reccomend telling anyone except those you TRUST ... you do NOT want OW or your WS WARNED that you have exposed their affair at work...
Yes - you are right, Allen. Need to keep cards close right now - knew I should have learned how to play poker!!!
His mom and my mom both know. I asked his mom not to give him a heads up. Don't think she will - the only danger is if she tells someone else in the fam and they do. He isn't in communication with them now though. I waited until today because I figure my H will hear today - but maybe I don't understand how fast or slow things move in the biz world. I guess I can't think they'll deal with my H ahead of any client needs or anything.
I think I'm going to just sit still for a bit and not do anything else. Let this reverbration be felt and see where we're at.
You can still learn to play poker... find some marriage friendly friends and have them sit with you and teach you... you can play online on your own once you have hte rules down...
I started up a weekly poker game at work while my wife was having an affair.. it helped me get out of the home AND it helped me practice staying distant ... I reccomend it for your situation right now... find some family members and have them teach you...
The thing is Mel they may just sit back and watch for themselves... which is why you don't want to WARN THE WS and OW about this... they may slip up at work if they don't konw the execs are watching...
There was an affair going on at my work with our dept manager... she was sleeping with one of her junior managers... it was going on for over a year... They did let both of them go eventually, but it took them a while.. BUT, i don't konw WHEN the execs found out... I found otu about two months into my stay in that dept... but who knows...
If I were execs I would watch them for two weeks and then make up my mind if something's going on... collecting my own INTEL... Then I would talk to legal before I fired anyone...
Don't expect anything to happen at work for at least two weeks.. it MAY happen sooner but I wouldn't expect it...
Particularly depending on how conservative the firm is... if they want to avoid embarassment they may take a few months covering all thier legal corners first before even having a chat with them...
I agree with Allen. The company may just wait til they decide if it's violating any company policies. Now that your H got promoted and she's not his supervisor, they may decide it's ok and none of their business. Although, I'm glad you put in the part about her spending company time at your house with him. That most likely will not be ignored even if they ignore the A. The company will watch them like hawks for abuse of resources or time.
I would hope HR would be concerned anyway. Even though her H was promoted to equal footing, OW WAS his supervisor. Talk around the office might be that he got promoted BECAUSE of their affair, which I doubt was a secret at their workplace. If Melody's co-workers knew, I'm sure her H's co-workers did too. NOT GOOD FOR COMPANY MORALE!!!
Allen, Bluestar, Silverado - you are right. He probably won't find out for awhile. Darn! I was hoping for immediate explosion I've got my darned military uniform on and don't know what to do with myself.
His sister responded to my email via text message: "Just got your email. you have our 100% suport and i agree with everything you said. we should prob talk about approach. from ur end and ours. at this point my mom dad and i don't even have a relationship with him anymore. too disgusted. but your thoughts are rational and good. the only question is what is realistic here? what does your research show?" We are going to get together tomorrow. Don't think I'll tell her about exposure at work yet, but just give her some simple principles and some possible help. Would love it if she would call OW and tell her that the family will never welcome her and that she broke up my daughter's family. I know that's asking a lot, though. Not sure how I woudl have reacted if I'd never been in this sitaution and someone askd me to do that.
I've got my darned military uniform on and don't know what to do with myself.