Kara, glad to hear you are happy on the Double K ranch! I've always known that you will come out of this sitch a strong, successful, happy person no matter what happens.
So Mr. Kara is surprised that you are ready to move on? Sounds about right. Perhaps he will still come around. But always remember to do what is best for you. I know most people here don't want to be divorced because they simply don't believe in it. Personally, I believe in not staying in any R that doesn't allow you to be the person you are meant to be. If you can have that with Mr. K then more power to you both. If not, then keep on driving down that road, shades on, music blasting.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
This is how it is when you don't want to work on your marriage.
Good for you. That shows dignity and self-respect...and I've decided that those things are pretty important!
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
My future is in God's hands and he knows the plans he has for me. I know it is something great.
God is good. The serprent may have bitten me but I am not dead. No, I am not dead at all.
Amen!
Originally Posted By: kara
I could never wrap my head around how you could have been married to someone, take the most sacred of vows and years later the person is out of your life. Perhaps you bump into them at the supermarket and say to someone "We used to be married". I never wanted that violent severing of what was such a fundamental joining of two people in God's most precious union. Couldn't comprehend it.
The problem is we married someone who either lied at the altar or has no sense of loyalty or principles. The fact is they are not worth our love or time. We made a mistake and now we have to accept it, ask for God's guidance so we don't make the same mistake again.
M 39 H 41 T9 M6 EA found Dec 09 Separated Apr to Jun 10 Currently in house separation
I believe that God can transform any life and situation but the desire has to be there in our respective spouses to change. Or something of cataclysmic proportions has to rock their world.
Dobson speaks about lifting the cage door on the trapped spouse but we also lift the cage door on ourselves. When we set them free, we set the drama free and set the fear free. Those are things that can imprison us.
Having spent so much time fighting for my M, I am now fighting for myself. Why was I so afraid of having Mr. K leave? He had essentially left in many ways.
I was ashamed and embarassed at the thought of everyone knowing my M had ended. But I have done nothing to be ashamed and embarassed about. I am proud that I tried. I don't even feel sad now but I guess there's time for that?
I was ashamed and embarassed at the thought of everyone knowing my M had ended. But I have done nothing to be ashamed and embarassed about.
I'm feeling the same at the moment, but I'm slowly coming around. I've yet to get up even courage to go back to church and face my brothers and sisters. Not that i think they'd judge me but i'm afraid i won't be able to hold it together if they were to express their care and concern. I've been overwhelmed by the support i'm already getting from friends and family. I believe God is using my sitch to remind me of how blessed I am, and how He is always providing for my needs. He is indeed great and good.
Last edited by xin; 07/05/1001:33 AM.
M 39 H 41 T9 M6 EA found Dec 09 Separated Apr to Jun 10 Currently in house separation
i'm afraid i won't be able to hold it together if they were to express their care and concern.
I was like that at first. I thought I was doing well, but when I told folks at work and they expressed concern, it choked me up... I think because I was no longer used to anybody caring about what I felt.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Having spent so much time fighting for my M, I am now fighting for myself. Why was I so afraid of having Mr. K leave? He had essentially left in many ways.
I was ashamed and embarassed at the thought of everyone knowing my M had ended. But I have done nothing to be ashamed and embarassed about. I am proud that I tried. I don't even feel sad now but I guess there's time for that?
Heeeeyyyyyy..... have you been inside my head? We are alike in what we have struggled with my friend.
I am getting to that same place. I have been fighting so hard for over a year now, when in reality, he probably already left quite a while ago....
I have battled the shame and embarrassment and am still not looking forward to people finding out. But, the truth is that neither you or I have anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We both gave our M's everything we had and then some. We can hold our heads high.
Thanks, Xin, TH, RW. It is always good to know someone can identify with how I feel.
I am back to feeling angry. I guess I wasn't as detached as I thought I was. I am angry at Mr. K and angry at myself. I just wish I could snap my fingers and be transported far, far away but THAT isn't going to happen. I fantasize about running away to a distant land and just taking up residence there. No-one knows who I am and that is just fine. And best of all, I am far far far away from Mr. Kara.
BUT...back to life. Back to reality. I continue to ignore Mr. Kara's texts. Hey, how are you doing? Hey, I am at the supermarket, can I get anything for you?
Good for you. That shows dignity and self-respect...and I've decided that those things are pretty important!