IDK! Under usual conditions I would say yes...a well-planned, carefully exposed affair is a good thing. BUT add MLC and the inter-family issue...yuk!
I feel really bad for th enephew. Are you close? How would he take the news from you? He may find out anyway. Will he be upset w/ you for not saying something to him earlier? How would you handle that? What if you threatened exposure to the 19 year old? Told her you would hate to hurt nephew but you will blow her secret sky high if she doesn't stay away from your H OR if H finds out about this convo w/you. This should end her A w/ your H, but odds are in MLC, he will find another. Maybe that is what he is doing with the other one...getting her in line so to speak.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
The demonizes the OM/OW and idealizes the Spouse...
It takes two to tango. If you believe that the Souse did nothing wrong at all then...you are going to have some massive problems if they come back.
Do not get me wrong demonizing the OW/OM is all fine and good.
I recently had this same debate with Allen A, over on the Infidelity board (he said it was "90/10" the fault of the predator, with 10% being the fault of the cheating spouse). I called "bullchit" and said the MOST I could go was 60/40.
I'm with Jack on this one. Takes two to do the dirty dance, and really, oftentimes the OP is SINGLE, so you could make the argument that the cheating, MARRIED person is more culpable.
My husband is very infatuated with the young girl, but also seems to be pursuing a woman who he was in a relationship with when I met him. This woman is 40, mother of three teens, and someone he always said he could never fall in love with. So...why is he pursuing his older ex-girlfriend when he feels so "in love" with the 19 year-old?
OK, I'll say it:
Maybe to be around the three teens? The guy does sound pretty sick.
As for exposure, ABSOLUTELY you should expose their affair. First of all, why should his nephew be the only one of the four adults affected to NOT know the truth of what's going on, so that he can deal with it as he chooses?
And secondly, what are you going to tell him what he finds out you knew all along, and asks you why didn't you tell him the TRUTH???
Affairs thrive on secrecy. Bust the illicit secrecy, and you suck out 75% of the affair's oxygen right there.
The nephew is not someone I am close to. He is actually being fed a lot of BS about me from my H, so it is not likely he'd even believe me.
None of this is characteristic of my "real" H. I can't believe he even LEFT me, far be it that he'd cheat on me with HER. I'm assuming this is all part of the MLC.
M: 34 WAH: 38 (in MLC) Together: 11 years Married since: November 2000 DS: 15 DS: 11 DS: 10 ILYBINILWY: Dec. 2009 Living separately since: April 2010
