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Thanks for the replies knittedscarf and 25.

You guys seem outraged, while I just kind of shake my head because my W tops herself with ridiculousness and narcissism every day.

Seeing your replies helps put this in perspective, as I've indicated earlier, I think I'm too desensitized. You are both absolutely right. She's self absorbed and completely over the edge.

I can't see any reconciliation, nor do I want one, unless she's hit by lightning and emerges a completely different woman. Getting back together with her in her current state would drag me down into her hole. Not going to happen. Freedom from this marriage seems like such a better path, no matter how hard it might be to get there.

I'm sure co-parenting with her is going to be an absolute joy...

well, we can always pray for lightning...

the good kind of lightning, of course.
j-

PS the weird thing and the good thing, is that she posted this on FB, right? So, you have a copy of her words in writing so that someday, SOMEDAY when she wonders why people are NOT close to her or think she's odd and that her troubles are largely self created, you can give her a written HINT. I say this b/c A LOT of MLCers and WAS just don't recall the "inconvenient truths" and on occasion, showing it to them helps. I myself almost had an A once, long ago. When I came upon a journal entry and recalled the insanity of what I was contemplating it hit me hard that THIS same brain in my head could have thought such stupid things. But it helped me be a tad less judgemental. OTOH your wife has had a ton of time to snap out of it and worse, to me, is her religious shroud...

I think I will post the amazing ways my W tops herself, if for nothing other than to provide amusement to the boards. Maybe even to help others feel better about their situations; "Wow that sucks, but look on the bright side, she/he's not Pigskin's spouse".

Item:

Today W called saying she had her lunch with her since she was running errands, and asked if she could eat at the house so she could see the kids. She had not seen them since June 12. Because she was off on a 4 day weekend with the OM which morphed into an 8 day excursion with flights to two states when OM's mom died.

After I told her that no, I'd prefer she didn't come over to eat her lunch, she said in a huff "Thanks. Thanks for the accomodation. Goodbye."

Stay tuned folks. I'm sure tomorrow will bring something even more outrageous!

"I really don't mean to come off as a jerk, it's just that the house is much more pleasant since you left and I don't want you leaving any of your bad mojo behind. Have a great day!"

No kidding. She really pi$$ed in my Cheerios. I am in such a better mood when its me and the kids and no dealings with her.

Journaling:

Had my monthly meeting with my pastor; filled him in on the recent goings on. He said that it was a pretty crazy tale I told.

I told him I have a lawyer and am in the process of filling out the initial paperwork. He agreed that it was time.

He walked me through the annulment steps but said it won't begin until our marriage is officially dissolved. It takes anywhere from 6 months to a year for an annulment to go through our diocese.

I asked him what the church says about getting into a relationship once divorced. He said technically you can't even date until the annulment is granted, since you are still considered married. He said the bigger concern is being in a vulnerable state and getting into a "rebound" relationship with someone who wouldn't be right for me.

I told him I felt the same way; I'm not in any rush to get annulled for dating's sake. I really could see getting too attached to the first woman that treated me with any kind of respect.

Journaling:

W came over to get some stuff for the kids; I was upstairs on the computer and she let herself in.

I came down and told her I didn't think it was appropriate for her to just come and go as she pleased in the house. She said she knocked and said "hello?" but I didn't hear it. I told her since we are going to be on opposite sides of a legal action that she shouldn't enter the house without me there or my permission.

She stated since she is on the mortgage as well, she "reserves the right" to come when she needs to. I told her this is no longer her residence, and that no matter who is on the mortgage, she no longer has that right since she doesn't live here anymore.

She sent me a note later saying she found out about a few times that I left the kids in the house alone for an hour and that she felt I need to make other arrangements in those instances. She stated that she felt the oldest was responsible enough but that the two youngest are not able to properly respond to emergencies. It was written like she wanted to document it for later use. I told her I left the oldest in charge with my cell phone for emergencies, and then noted a couple of cases where she did the same. Even left the two youngest alone for a time as well.

I said we can discuss her concerns but that she was not to represent the situation like I was the only one who did that without regard to our kids' safety. I also stated that I have NEVER left the two youngest alone by themselves, as she had done. She didn't respond.

I would never put my kids in danger, and only left them for one hour at a time when I went to meetings such as the one with the pastor. The oldest is in charge and I usually put a movie on (if it is not an early morning meeting when they are still asleep).

She's really reaching for some kind of leverage in our situation that she doesn't possess.

Did the pastor ever have the talk with the two of them saying that they wouldn't be allowed in the church?

Not yet - the OM was out of town for his mom's funeral the week that they were supposed to have their initial talk with him about getting out of my W's life. Don't know if they have rescheduled yet, but the pastor usually keeps me updated.

Pigskin,

Not to argue okay but what does the annulment do to your children's legitimacy? If the marriage was never valid in the eyes of the church (is this Catholic or a legal annulment you're seeking?)
To me I don't see the advantage of an annulment when you have kids.It can be risky. In some of their eyes it negates them. I mean, how do you tell them you were never married in the eyes of God but, they are here in your life? Are they "bastards"? No offense meant, I'm just curious about the unintended consequences.

Of course It may not ever come up, but it sure did for my sister, who married in the Catholic church to a fellow Catholic. They had 3 kids and HE sought the annulment after leaving her for OW, and 22 yrs of M...oh and now he's an aggressive atheist...to which I say, "it shows".

j-

It's a Catholic annulment that I'm talking about and it is necessary if I ever want to date/marry again. While I don't know about marriage, I definitely want to date again, so I'm going to go through the process.

I don't know what that does to the children in the eyes of the church. I can't imagine it has any impact or my pastor would have said something. After all, they were not born out of wedlock, they would just be considered born out of a marriage that should never have taken place.