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Well lucky for Nathan you were able to get him and take care of this.

So what if you had been out of town, unreachable and not available to get Nathan picked up? Dan needs to realize that when it is HIS day to have the kids he CAN'T be unreachable by the daycare, school, or wherever the kids happen to be that day. He is completely responsible for their health and well-being. Otherwise is simply irresponsible parenting. Heck his office can't even find the man right now. Not good.

BA

I know BA, it is not good. He gets hundreds of emails and messages every day. Once last year we were in the car together. We stopped at a gas station. Got in the car 8-10 minutes later and he had 4 missed calls and 15 new emails. I know bc he showed me and said, "See this is how it is all the time and why I don't always get back to you right away."

Point is he needs to figure out how to delegate better or at least check messages more often. If he is out of office and his VM is full, I have no way to reach him.

Also I may need to make a note for the daycare...from the sound of things they tried calling me and didn't call anyone else. Even though Dan's # is listed right after mine, then my mom, then his mom. Yet Nathan was stuck on a cot in the office from 12:30-2:00 bc they had not heard back from me?? When they had not even left a message? Grr...

I leave Sunday afternoon for a work conference. If Nathan is still sick or Sydney becomes sick, Dan will have to take care of it. If he misses work, so be it.

He needs to get a separate cellphone just for family so that he can always be reached in cases such as this. Heck here it is almost 4 hours since Nathan took ill at daycare and he probably STILL doesn't know anything about it. With you going out of town on Sunday, I would insist he get a better communication plan in place and let you know what it is before you leave.

BA

OMG! That is horrible. Is the Tylenol still bringing his fever down for a while?

BBJ, that's a tough situation and you all handled it well. I'm so glad to hear Nathan spoke to you about his feelings and you talked with Dan in a good way and Dan took it the way it was meant. So many of these things turn into a blame game or one parent trying to make the other parent look or feel bad etc. So good job on co-parenting so well. Not knowing your sitch from the begining Dan sounds like a decent dad and hopefully he'll be more mindful of his behavior.

You know as a dad I too speak with DD in a strict voice or raise my voice sometimes when she's not listening to me (or even her mom in the past). Of course, I always felt badly about it afterwards because she's just a little thing and doesn't know structure or discipline as well as we expect sometimes. Now I've learnt to let things go or give her a warning and that's usually enough.

Hope Nathan feels better soon and hope he and dad can develop a good trust and bond. It's so important for kids to have that support and trust from both parents. It's so sad when I read here some dads not even calling in to check on their kids for weeks or months...

Better than getting a second phone is having a different ring-tone. And two like you said the daycare needs to have a proper protocol in place if they can't reach the first parent they need to go down the list leaving VMs for each.

Good idea Romeo, maybe Highway To Hell could be Dan's ring tone to signify he's calling.

(((((BobbiJo)))))
I think the second cell phone might make a lot of sense for Dan. If he wants to be a parent, they have to be able to reach him. I guess a pager might be an option as well, but a phone would be a lot easier. And the school should be told that now they need to work down the list, and not just call the first number.

Hi BBJ,

I don't post any more but I check your thread plus a couple of others every day. I have kept up with your sitch for years now (I hope you don't feel like I'm stalking you!).

RE the second phone/pager/ring tone issue. Ask him to make a special ring tone or two. One for you and one (or two for school/day care). I can tell you now that Dan will forget to keep a second phone charged, will forget to take it with him, etc etc, excuse, excuse and then you'll be back where you started. He might not get around to the second ring tone thing, but really, it's the simplest solution I can think of. Romeo (who is not stupid) has a good idea.

Purple

How is your sweet boy doing today BBJ?