If you now know what to expect and can emotionally handle it, go on if you want.
The three or four times my W and I had sex after the bomb, it was great. The next day, though, was always such a let down for me. After the first time she told me it was just sex, didn't mean anything, etc., I was crushed. The next time, I asked her if we could build on this, use it as a building block to repair our M. She said yeah, sound good. Next day, same crap. Finally, the next couple of times, I treated it as if I had picked up some whore in a bar and had a one night stand. The sex was wild animal monkey sex! Fantastic! I quickly realized that's not what I want from my W. When and if I am single again, I could go pick up some slut at a bar and do it that way. Maybe that's what my W wants. She won't get it from me.
I made a new thread ,as I don't see anything regarding it in a search.
We for the first time in 2-3 weeks of being separated my wife and I made love. Well not really. It started off as some texts between each other and lead to what I thought was a step forward. I really didn't want it per say, but she wanted it and I didn't want to but I wanted to because she wanted to. I don't know if she felt the same way, but it was the best sex I had in a long time.
It was until after-wards when she hurt me. She said that it was just sex, great sex, nothing more. If I(W) lead differently I(W) am sorry. You were reading this too deeply and this did not change the way I feel. I tried to hold her and managed to kiss her a few times before she backed away.
I didn't say a word or show sadness over it. I just agreed it was nice and told her goodnight.
I am so confused right now. Did this actually mean something and she was testing me or was this hormones and just meaningless sex?
That sucks. She was saying "thanks, but don't read too much into it". The question is why does she need to say that?
I would love to have "meaningless sex" after a month of nothing (sorry couldn't help myself). Remember to believe none of what they say and only half of what you see. The next time she does this, I would have my way with her then get up immediately and go do something else like it did not matter at all. Just my $0.02
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
I made a new thread ,as I don't see anything regarding it in a search.
We for the first time in 2-3 weeks of being separated my wife and I made love. Well not really. It started off as some texts between each other and lead to what I thought was a step forward. I really didn't want it per say, but she wanted it and I didn't want to but I wanted to because she wanted to. I don't know if she felt the same way, but it was the best sex I had in a long time.
It was until after-wards when she hurt me. She said that it was just sex, great sex, nothing more. If I(W) lead differently I(W) am sorry. You were reading this too deeply and this did not change the way I feel. I tried to hold her and managed to kiss her a few times before she backed away.
I didn't say a word or show sadness over it. I just agreed it was nice and told her goodnight.
I am so confused right now. Did this actually mean something and she was testing me or was this hormones and just meaningless sex?
That sucks. She was saying "thanks, but don't read too much into it". The question is why does she need to say that?
women test men, some women test men continuously, she's testing your insecurity, your reaction to what she says, your reply could have been "you're welcome, you too ;-)"
You are always being tested, you will always be pushed, woman tend to want to feel secure with the men in their lives, they are attracted to mates that are secure with themselves and confident in themselves.
Don't take a response like that from your wife seriously, in fact just smile, and say "it was just sex, I wasn't reading anything more into it than that, I had a good time", smile and walk away.
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
Han Solo: Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me.
Han Solo: Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
Han Solo: Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. 'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
Google is your friend ;-)
And no I'm not Han Solo, might be fun for a day though ;-)
M: 39 W: 39 Kids (3): S10; S8; D4 Married 14 years Togethor: 18 years Wife's Weird Behavior Started: 2nd Half of 2009 Bomb Dropped (about being "so done"): 2/17/10 Current Status: In counseling
I made a new thread ,as I don't see anything regarding it in a search.
We for the first time in 2-3 weeks of being separated my wife and I made love. Well not really. It started off as some texts between each other and lead to what I thought was a step forward. I really didn't want it per say, but she wanted it and I didn't want to but I wanted to because she wanted to. I don't know if she felt the same way, but it was the best sex I had in a long time.
It was until after-wards when she hurt me. She said that it was just sex, great sex, nothing more. If I(W) lead differently I(W) am sorry. You were reading this too deeply and this did not change the way I feel. I tried to hold her and managed to kiss her a few times before she backed away.
I didn't say a word or show sadness over it. I just agreed it was nice and told her goodnight.
I am so confused right now. Did this actually mean something and she was testing me or was this hormones and just meaningless sex?
That sucks. She was saying "thanks, but don't read too much into it". The question is why does she need to say that?
women test men, some women test men continuously, she's testing your insecurity, your reaction to what she says, your reply could have been "you're welcome, you too ;-)"
You are always being tested, you will always be pushed, woman tend to want to feel secure with the men in their lives, they are attracted to mates that are secure with themselves and confident in themselves.
Don't take a response like that from your wife seriously, in fact just smile, and say "it was just sex, I wasn't reading anything more into it than that, I had a good time", smile and walk away.
Quote:
She said that it was just sex, great sex, nothing more.
Womenspeak - statements are questions and questions are statements
Then do the two finger wave from right to left to turn on the Jedi mind trick
Quote:
"it was just sex, I wasn't reading anything more into it than that, I had a good time",
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Its never just sex when it comes to a man and a woman who each had love in their hearts for each other. There are couple of ways to look at this.
1.) She enjoyed sex. In fact enjoyed sex with you. The fact that she calls it "just sex" is just her way of keeping her distance.
2.) She enjoys sex. Perhaps not just with you. Its just sex if someone else is involved.
3.) Maybe her walls, are starting to come down. But for sure, it will be one bumpy ride.
I had sex the day my wife came clean about her affair. It was probably the best sex of our marriage. Next day, completely distant. But I just rolled with it. It killed me. But I just went with it. A week later, my separation ended. Two weeks later, we spent the weekend together without kids. 3 weeks later, we were like HS kids....
GO with the flow. Have no expectations, and BE HAPPY
Married 10 Together 13 ILYB 1/4/2010 Separated: 1/4/2010 Moved back in 1/28/2010 Reconciled 3/14/2010
