I want to say "good riddance' to her but that would not be dbing would it. I'm so ticked off at her utter lack of awareness and insight....OMG>
If I knew the OM's w and had the money to spare I'd send HER to the funeral along with the kids who's grandmother died,NOT his "new love".. WHY on earth is your w attending this sad private FAMILY occasion when she is NOT in the family yet and is part of why his REAL family is torn asunder? THIS is his chosen moment to introduce her to his family??? Can he be more tacky and self centered? OMG how can your w be blind to that, as a wife and as a mother? Man they have crossed too many lines but THIS LINE IS LIKE A LINE TO HELL...hope mil haunts them awhile....so gross.
MLC stuff= I totally recognize the way that others who jump thru hoops are barely acknowledged by the MLCer but your w has had TIME to wake up to that, and YOU are somehow "over reacting or making a big deal" about the kids and their games? Oh really? Really? Well Your older son wants to go and keep his promise to teammates, so I guess they were important to him. But you probably did something wacky and over reacting, like ask him what HE wanted.
You remarked and mind read that these comments revolve around her feeling guilt but I would not assume she does, btw. She's SO DEEP into minimizing ANY impact on others b/c of her, b/c she's in "la la heaven land". I almost think the religous "conversion" is a compensatory reaction to cope with bold faced double adultery. The one I feel most sorry for are OM's kids and stbxw. You will be alright thru all this, and she won't be. Financially and otherwise, plus she's got kids to deal with and a psycho ex h soon.
But OM's wife was close to her mil, probably a defender of hers, and must be in pain. And as this woman sees the death of her mil, whom she knew for decades, only to see her own h repeat the behavior of his father that broke his mother's heart oh so long ago. His Bringing your w to that funeral is a slap in the face of his mother, and his stbxw, and his children, and for that alone, he's a jerk. Unforgivable, no excuse.
Just as I said to FIB awhile back, I cannot wait for you to be single and in a healthy r with a woman who "gets it". I am hereby resigning from the "support Pig's M" group, and am joining the "I just want YOU to be happy" group. Sure sure, if your wife snaps out of it all and makes it ALL up to you, we'll all praise God out loud. But til then, I think we can praise him for getting you thru this in one peaceful piece...amen
(( j ))
So nice to get a sane reality check from you, 25. I sometimes wonder why I'm not more offended by things like this. It's like I've become desensitized. Good to get a 3rd party view.
The more I find out about OM's family, the more I understand his cavalier attitude. His dad is on his 4th wife, and I found out from OM's wife that his deceased mom was on husband #4 as well. Although OM's wife did tell me some things about her that showed she was a caring woman - she adopted 2 crack babies that husband #4 now will be raising himself.
It's easy to see how someone could view marriage as something you ditch when it's not perfect when that's what your parents have done.
My W and the OM are lost souls and I feel sorry for them, despite what it is doing to me. I hope someday they will wake up and atone for this sin before it is too late. I don't see myself being there when/if it happens, but I can't wish hell on anyone, especially the mother of my children.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
You have been too nice up to this point Pigskin. I love the fact that you told her that she had no leverage! Keep it up!
Thanks v1olin. I don't know any other way to be, it's just how I am. But I'm more in the "tough love" phase now, and not worried about how my W will react to anything.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I have been following along and you're getting great advice. I don't have too much to add.
Quote:
But I'm more in the "tough love" phase now, and not worried about how my W will react to anything.
That is the way to be.
Your focus has shifted, as it should. Keep your head up and be proud of what you have done. Carry yourself with dignity and pride into the next phase of things. I know you are a good person. It would be so easy to try and exact some revenge on W and OM and wish them to hell. You stated you won't and can't do that. God bless you.
I have been following along and you're getting great advice. I don't have too much to add.
Quote:
But I'm more in the "tough love" phase now, and not worried about how my W will react to anything.
That is the way to be.
Your focus has shifted, as it should. Keep your head up and be proud of what you have done. Carry yourself with dignity and pride into the next phase of things. I know you are a good person. It would be so easy to try and exact some revenge on W and OM and wish them to hell. You stated you won't and can't do that. God bless you.
You will be okay. I have no doubt.
Thanks IDU. I think part of my problem when I feel down is that I'm currently job hunting after running my own business for several years. Got tired of the work and looking to get back into corporate life. I have lots of friends and contacts, so I'm confident I can land something, but the process is slow.
If I was working I'd have a lot more distractions and would probably feel better about things. Money is not an issue as me and my W were voracious savers; there's just too much flux in my current life right now and hard to focus when I'm dealing with her crap on a daily basis.
It's also no small irritation to think that the OM will get half of the wealth I've worked so diligently to acquire. It's probably no small motivation for him, too.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
I'm glad that you have enough money put back to last for a while. Unfortunately, that is not my case. When W decided to work part time, we agreed to take the financial hit so she could stay at home with the kids. That was seven years ago.
I think that's part of the bigger picture, too. The stress of being home with the kids is greater than she wants to admit. She wanted to be there, now she doesn't. That doesn't make her a bad person. She is looking for a full time job in the medical field where she used to work. Her certifications have run out and she won't command the decent money until she gets them back. Then she worries what to do with the kids and how we will pay a sitter or daycare.
We both have money problems. At least my W will get half of nothing. Of course, that doesn't leave me with much either. That's the bad thing about all of this. We always made such a good team. Together, we made it and even thrived.
I hope you can protect your assets for you and your kids. You deserve it.
Get this: W was sick in bed all day and missed the funeral for OM's mom. I'm sure that made it better for OM's W not having to deal with the mistress in attendance.
Found out all this from her post on the popular social networking site. How she was supposed to go to "a good friend's" mother's funeral. W posted that she felt terrible not being there for the family for support, how they all were wonderful and totally understood, but she felt horrible that the focus was on her and not on them!
Wow. Completely delusional. Maybe this was God's way of getting HIS way...
I don't want to be married to this woman. Not if this is who she is.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
Get this: W was sick in bed all day and missed the funeral for OM's mom. I'm sure that made it better for OM's W not having to deal with the mistress in attendance.
There's no way she was sick. It's probably more likely that the OM told her not to come or he doesn't have time to care about her since his MOM JUST DIED. Priorities, you see.
But then again, if she were really sick, she'd be resting and not posting on fb. Just like if she were really serious about her baptism that she had on Easter Day, should would have been deep in the miracle of salvation.
What did she do? Post pics online.
Read this outloud to yourself.
Quote:
How she was supposed to go to "a good friend's" mother's funeral. W posted that she felt terrible not being there for the family for support, how they all were wonderful and totally understood, but she felt horrible that the focus was on her and not on them!
It's all about HER when talking about OMs Mom's death. It doesn't show compassion about how hard her kids would be taking it (what, no mention of whether the "good friend" is having a hard time with his mom's passing). It actually mentions nothing about the mom or the family.
It's alllll about their concern for HER being too sick. That is horse cr@p. It's narcissistic. But you know that already based on everything that you've written here. I hope you take time to accept it.
I can't think of one person who's lost a parent that isn't completely overwhelmed by the situation to the point where you are in survival mode. The OM probably doesn't care about your wife. And why should he? His mom died.
This is a sick situation. Stop reading lies your wife is giving. And stop talking to OMs wife. She's not an ally.
Listen, I know you think I'm against your wife's church, but I'm not. I'm trying to point out things that maybe you can't notice bc you still love her and want her back. But your wife is acting in her own self interests and not that of your marriage.
If you believe in God, then you should believe in God's love...that is, surrounding yourself around people who care about you. Not whatever she is.
Get this: W was sick in bed all day and missed the funeral for OM's mom. I'm sure that made it better for OM's W not having to deal with the mistress in attendance.
Found out all this from her post on the popular social networking site. How she was supposed to go to "a good friend's" mother's funeral. W posted that she felt terrible not being there for the family for support, how they all were wonderful and totally understood, but she felt horrible that the focus was on her and not on them!
WTH??? She's pathologically self centered AND lacks insight into how her behavior is objectively viewed by normal people, let alone those involved emotionally, like those who loved the mil. WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?? OMG....ARE YOU SWEARING SHE POSTED THIS ON FB? ? SHE IS INSANE...INSANE I TELL YOU. NO ONE, NO ONE, GAVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR W BEING SICK, or being AWOL AT HER ADULTERATING BF'S MOTHER'S FUNERAL . IS SHE TOTALLY OUT OF IT?
Isn't it a tad more likely that a FEW of them like maybe ALL of them (even her idiot OM) were reflecting on their mother, and her life and passing? If any thought went to your w and I mean ANY, it was no doubt RELIEF that she wasn't there. But I''m not sure she even came up as a topic b/c , Oh, guess what?[u] A beloved woman DIED and the funeral was about HER and NOT YOUR W, OR HER OM...Jesus!.. [/u] DOES ANYONE THINK THE HEALTH OF your w, THE MISTRESS, WAS AT ALL important, or even of note, OTHER THAN HOW MUCH BETTER IT WAS WITHOUT THAT HIDEOUSLY AWKWARD MOMENT which NO ONE WANTED BUT was being forced upon them all at a horrid time of pain in THEIR lives, none of which mattered to OM and your w....NICE, Classy approach ....
Best case scenario is they HOPED it MARKED AN OUNCE OF GOOD TASTE on the part of your w in staying away....????
Seriously, I would not have thought it appropriate of your w to attend the putting down of the first family's dog...I MEAN IT, if OM's family were putting their dog down, and it's clearly a "first family" matter , NO ONE wants an interloper at a painful time for a "first family" but YOUR W and HER OM don't get it at all...I have a widowed friend who met a nice lady he just introduced to his kids. What a difference in taste and concern for the kids and taking it slow and their case has NO Adultery involved, let alone with the new partner the kids are forced to accept.....
In sum, I'm STUNNED by the mere possibility that your w is seriously entertaning the idea that any[/i] [i]of the attention was on HER, and not on the deceased mother. SHe has some ego.......INfu&%((%sane....
Pigskin, if you reconcile with this woman without her getting a brain transplant, I'm sorry but I will screw my head in the ceiling. You know what? You're being done a FAVOR by divorcing....God help me for saying that but THIS WINS, THIS TAKES THE CAKE FOR SELF ABSORBTION, A WHOLE NEW LEVEL HERETOFORE UNSEEN AND God knows we've all seen a lot....I can't talk anymore...too angry and freaked...
Wow. Completely delusional. Maybe this was God's way of getting HIS way...
I don't want to be married to this woman. Not if this is who she is.
AMEN
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Of course, that doesn't leave me with much either. 
That's the bad thing about all of this. We always made such a good team. Together, we made it and even thrived.