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As usual, Sandi is spot on. You(we)can decide that it doesn't bother you(us).

I know this is LSG's thread, but I could use the reminder too! Thanks!

bump

Amazing. If its eating something up that he needs and its more benefitial for the both of them.

Journaling:

Yesterday, I took a break from my thread to clean the apartment. I cleaned the kids room, vacuumed, did windows, dusted, and spent a lot of time getting caught up on chores. I was very tired yesterday, so I just focused on what I needed to do. I took kids to McDonalds and let them play in the Playplace. My W will not pay our cell phone bill that is in my name. She is paying less and less. I hope the judge will approve my OSC. I filed for unemployment from my temporary position that has ended because no more work. I wish I still had it. I am not sure if I should use a credit card to pay the bill. I will have to consult an attorney. I noticed at 12:34 am that W was still not home, and I fell asleep. It was a hard day to do anything. It seems to be that way every other day. W did not put gas in the car again.

IDU,

I really don't want to talk to her either. I just wish I never had to speak to her again. I am trying to deal with this. I spoke to an attorney that said if I could pay the retainer, they would have the OM give a deposition to find out about wasted funds between the two of them. I would love to have him give a deposition. It would be fun for me to have my attorney go after him. I have to come up with the $5000 retainer to win this case against my W and the OM. I feel that is against the both of them. He deserves to have consequences for his actions. The attorney would love to have my case and the OMW's case together to really go after both of them together. He believes there would be very big results. I do too.

Nice to have hope again today.

Sandie2,

You are so right! Thanks for the clarity to my question!

DLS,

Could you please explain your response a little more. I really am missing the point.

Thank you!

LSG,

Why would a wife cause a behavior that "eats you up inside", what they usually mean is confidence or security.

In a mutual benefitial relationship we would not do this to our partner. I can see where if it eroded to lack of respect or just a fight, you would have no problem inflicting this harm upon your former partner.

I guess what I was saying is if she was staying a woman or man should never do behaviors that "eats them up", maybe once in a blue moon, but systematically - thats abuse.

In your situation none of the assaults and attacks should work anymore. Thats just another woman to you, one who is going out of their way to harm you, waste your time, money and make you uncomfortable.

DLS,

I am still missing it. Could you try one more time.

Thanks.

No maybe I'm missing it. Your doing right.

What sandi2 hinted to in that the behavior if you let it would eat up at your confidence and security. I didn't like that she equated it to "fun", in that some of these harmful games are "fun" to the one doing the infliction.

It makes me feel a bit ashamed knowing I've been on the recieving end of a ton of these type of scenarios.