Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
Your list of books is good to start with. I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready. I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read. This is my new and improved list of links.
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
Remember that in the stages of MLC it does NOT go 1,2,3,4,5,6 but can get all mixed up and repeat itself and have more than one stage at once. Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
This is a very hard and long road. If you have been reading you already know that.
Only you can determine if your H is MLC. Either way, this is now your journey, regardless of him.
I liked Grace's suggestion of finding some mom's groups. That will definately help you to make friends. I don't have a lot of friends either. Some of the things I did was begin going to church, just taking time out for myself, and engaging the few friends that I do have in activities and conversations that did NOT revolve around what was going on in my house. Like Grace said too, I found that one day, I actually just had a life. Sort of amazing how it happens that way.
M&H,
Traditional literature states age generalizations. I would never have believed my H could have been going through this either, he was 35 when his second round started and 25 during the first crisis period.
However, what I have learned is that if it walks like a duck...
Age, means almost nothing in this. The term mid life is misleading IMO. It should probably just be called a life crisis. And honestly, the top end of the age spectrum, isn't really midlife now is it?
Other things to consider when looking at age references, I had my gallbladder out in my mid twenties, not really normal for someone that age. I am 38 and have been in perimenopause for about 5 years. I actually had one doctor tell me it was impossible because I was too young and another one ran blood tests to confirm it. My son was rolling over front to back and back to front at 2 months, he was talking at 8 months. See where I'm going with this?
Numbers are reference points but that is all.
Keep posting and reading Lori.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
