Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Hope it's ok if I hop onboard

I think Jack3Beans said it somewhere else ... welcome to the 'best worst place to be' the support here is fantastic!


LMAO @ Shrek ... I guess no one is safe from the dreaded MLC!

Peace
PEI

Hi fud, welcome...it IS a great place with a lot of great advice. You'll get it, and if you let it, it will help.

The best thing you can do is to just go hide somewhere & read everything you can, those links that OP gave you are invaluable.



And thanks for the heads up about Shrek. I should probably wait until it comes out on DVD then, shouldn't I. lol

I thought this Shrek stunk, but the message was just right THERE - love the "you don't know what you had until it's gone" thread through it.

Welcome! Take plenty of time to read and ask questions, we're here for you.

Sorry - just need to vent -
I know that on the scale of MLCs this is not really severe but H's obsession with a capital 'O' with hockey is driving me up the fricking wall!!! I think the reason I'm so annoyed is that instead of focusing on anything related to our marriage at all - he's consumed and I mean consumed with this ridiculous activity. This from a man who never skated or gave a thought to hockey as recently at last December! I just find myself incredibly impatient - yes I know - my issue - with his focus on hockey. It's SO BLOODY OBVIOUS that he's using it to avoid dealing with the realities of our life and I just am having a hard time not letting my annoyance bubble to the surface.

Ok - in other news - the night before last (I went out last night - didn't tell him where)- I told him as per my DB coaches advice that I would be leaving for a few days in July and he'd be in charge of the kids. I said I'd help with any prep he needed. He said where are you going and I said Maryland to work on something for myself - this is Stosny's bootcamp - and he said 'Is it private' and I said 'sort of'. My question is do I tell him what I'm doing or would that be trying to get him to notice my changes? I hate having to think of all of this sh&& constantly

Ugh - just call me ms. complainer today

A

Hi Ms. Complainer...and while many here might think I am being sarcastic...I am not. I hope you feel a little better after getting that off your chest.

Got good plans for the weekend?



Funny thing...I think you already figured out the answer and used it as part of your question.

Right now...you have to think about it...because it is a change from the way you used to think and operate...in a while after you have done it for a bit, it will be your NEW habit and natural...you won't even think about it.

Glad you vented here instead of at him.

Me too ... well done fudwoman!

PEI

Hey fud,

So what are your plans for the weekend?

I'm laid up so it's lounging and reading and watching a good (hopefully) flick.

I do hope you get out adn do something nice for yourself.

HUGS

Thanks JTB and PEI!

I'm still annoyed because he just informed me he was considered going skating tonight but we're having some last minutes guests so he won't. He's concerned because he's only skating 2x a week. How about being concerned because your marriage is hanging in the balance? I'm worried he'll start going out at night and meet some woman. I am leaving a lot at night because I'm trying to get away from him but now I think it's giving him the idea that he should get out too - that's not what I want! HELP!

Grace - sorry to hear you are laid up? Why is that? I hope your book and movie are compelling and engaging. No plans for myself this weekend - since we all still live together we are on the 'normal' kid-focused weekend - which means scheduled classes and birthday parties. Not fun at all!

I guess I'm just in a funk and not having an easy time getting out of it.

I do appreciate the listening and support though.

A

Just wondering ... have you ever gone and watched him play? Do you guys have a babysitter you call on sometimes? I was thinking you could swing by the rink just as he is finishing up some night and say you were out and about and thought he might like to grab a coffee ... or something equally casual. And if he says no then just a quick "no worries - see ya at home" ... dunno, just thinking outloud ...

Take a deep breath and read some of your posts to me you give good advice so take some of it for yourself ... detach some more, work on you, take care of you.

My DB coach suggested 'butterfly touches' ... just the odd little touch, brushing my hand across his shoulder if he was sitting at the table, touching him on the arm when we talked or he made me laugh, etc ....

Again ... just thinking out loud ... have a great weekend ...

PEI

Good chance to practise some detaching ....