Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers THE OW CONTACTED ME - WHAT??

Well the barage of texts have continued. I have just saved them and put them away for the court case. She is carrying on about respect and lying, blah, blah, blah etc.

Anyway she feels she has a right to text my sons whilst they are with me - NOT. So I texted my Xh the following (really hope she reads it):

(Pet name I used to call him) just to be clear YOU are more than welcome to text OUR sons.

No expecting a response and dont care. Tomorrow is monday, the sun is shining and I start my new life.

May need some tips in the dating game though as I never have dated - so all you pros out there please send through your bestest tips. (Been with my XH since I was 14years old).


((( ))) to everyone!!

I haven't posted on your thread yet, but this caught my eye.

Mmm, I wonder if she thinks she can replace you as the boys mother too? Men are easy to manipulate, but one's children aren't that easy to get. You gave birth to them, and have nurtured them all their lives. So, if you do want to respond, tell her this, "you will never and could never be my kids mother, I gave birth to them and H was there, and it was a wonderful moment in our M, and no-one can take that away from me, not even you - NOT EVEN XH. I'm not sure of your motive for texting me, but know that it doesn't bother me one bit, in fact, I feel sorry for you." Then, when X and OW comes to pick up kids, you go to the car, greet her and X in a friendly manner, tell her "no, no need to get out the car", and then kiss the boys good-bye and say "have a good time with your dad," turn around and walk away. (This would show the boys that you are trying to be amiable. Try and have witnesses to your interaction, and do this every time from now on.) I would love to know how she reacts to that. In fact, maybe you should provoke more texts to show in court. Well, just some suggestions and thoughts.

But, dating might be a good way of getting over your X, if you aren't already over him.

Really like your forum name: This is what my grandparents used to call me as a child.

Cool!!

My kids are superkeen on me getting a boyfriend too. Was a little shocked by this but as my S7 says, then at least Dad will know how painful it is. S10 said that he thinks it would be a good idea as it would make me happy. He also mentioned that my S7 misses the family unit and would like a dad that stays with his children.

Watch this space!!

Thanks for the input. These are really great ideas. Might respond with the text you suggest in a few days. Dont want her to think that I am being bugged by them just as yet - so will see how I feel. She knows all this anyway which is why I think she is now becoming so desparate. I think the chase is now over and she no longer has a 'project'.

The idea about going to the car is great - just not quite strong enough to do that yet. I would like to show my kids that I am okay and bigger than this, but will need some time so will keep this idea for then. (WOuld be even better if I had a man with me!!)

Steve, thanks for this - it really put a smile on my face!!

Is there no end to this insanity. OW phoned me 3 times on my mobile at work today and then again this evening. I didnt obviously answer the call. She left a message saying that she has received some mail for my XH at her house and she doesnt understand why as he doesnt live there.

Well, I have it in black and white from my XH that he does. I guess she is just scared that her income and assets will now come into account when working out my maintenance. (That is how it works how in the UK).

As hard as it is to do, I agree - don't respond - just ignore her - that will drive her crazy. I had my husbands little friend text me on my birthday to wish me a happy birhtday - which I ignorned. And she is a real psyco - a 19 year old one.

Maybe you can even block her number, if you want.

I dont understand it - why do they keep on harrassing me. The texts really make me laugh. She says I need to stop lying to my sons - excuse me who has been lying about her relationship with their daddy for the last 6 months. In fact, I have been told my our counsellor that perhaps I am too honest with my sons!!

Anyway XH has now decided that his nightly phone calls with our sons will now include a chat with her as well. This is not what was agreed and also not resonable to expect. The point of the phone calls are for him to chat to his sons and continue to build his relationship with them as he decided to no longer live with them. He obviously doesnt think his time is important if he decides he can share it with her!!!

So got the following text from OW:

Hope you are having a great day with the boys. Please give them a hug from me. FYI- I have given XX the post for him as he has now moved in. Name X

Am I the only one thinking: Bunny Boiler?????