Hmmm, did you hear that? That was the sound of the truth...
Yup, it's beginning to open up and expose itself... sure it's in another state, but that works for me too. The best part, is I haven't done anything, absolutely nothing to bring it on. More on this later as it begins to open up enough that it will not, cannot be bottled back up!
I have heard from D today, she brought her computer to school, and took advantage of the hotspot where she studies. We talked on Facebook for quite a while. She did say Dick's drinking is becoming heavier still, and while he is sober, he will make many statements that are negative and critical of me, but when he drinks, his talk is more positive about me, the marriage, life on the farm. According to D, he wishes he still had the farm..... hmmm, I would still like to cut his (put any word you desire here) off, for what he did, how dare he talk about the farm as IF he was the victim in loosing it too. It was my home!
Anyway, I couldn't imagine what it is like to be Jane... poor girl, not only stuck with him, but she's stuck living with my ghost too. I have to say, it's probably the same with most people who have taken his route... sure, it may look good from the outside looking in, however, I can see it being a very empty marriage and homelife for them both. Oh, she'll hang on to him, because his money represents security for her.... she's lost everything else.
D has made her plans, she sounds pretty solid about her choices too. She is still in school, and will be for another 3 weeks. After school is out, she wants to move out of Dick's house and move to the resort she works at. She loves her job, and the owner/boss has promised her Scuba certification this June. She's so excited. Since there is no fat on her, she won't have a problem sitting on the bottom.
Oh, of course I want her home right away, however, I'm now speaking of a child who is now ready to make her own life decisions. She's grown up fast these past few months, and she wants to stay at the resort until school is ready to begin. It's really not that much longer, and she will gain some more experiences, and from the sounds of it, more positive ones.
D also talked about Dick being relentless, demanding her apologies, trying to make her see that she is control of their future relationship, and IF she doesn't cowtow (sp?)to his demands, she is the one who will ruin any relationship they will have in the future..... Her response, you ask? Well, she started off with... What is he thinking? He was't in my for 16 years, what makes him think I want him and this treatement for the next 16 years?
What did I say? I told her I understood why she would feel this way now, however, time and distance are great healers, and she ought to keep an open mind when it comes to thinking about her future..... Have I DB skills or what?
As for S and his girlfriend, they have moved out of the apartment and across to the next county, close to where they will start college in the fall. They have rented a little bedroom house there, which they both are thrilled with. They started working with me last Monday.... they have 8 more weeks of training, with weekends off, and then they will work full time until college starts.
No, I'm not happy about the two of them living together at such a young age.... but they are both 18 and on their own now.... too early as far as I'm concerned, however, I was younger than they are when I moved across the country from MA to AZ to start a life of my own.... At least I see them every day I'm at work... I'm okay!
I'm so glad that your kids have grown up and seen the light. They will both be fine. It's wonderful that your daughter is renewing her bond with you. You have been through the mill. You deserve to have some good stuff happen now!
He certainly has..... sometimes I wonder if he'w waiting for me to responsed, take him to court, and/or try to save D in some way, and that is why he is adding more on to D. He knows taking away any possible way of me reaching her is complete violation of my/our rights.... Although, D may have replaced me completely, because he continuously tells her, "your so much like you Mother."
It may just be a combination of the two, where he knows if he breaks her, he will also break me.... I know he is feeling my silence, but he doesn't understand I've handed it over to the man upstairs, and I refuse the urge to take it back. I have seen (over and over again) that I have to leave it alone and allow the higher powers, heaven sent and man made to finally put this all to rest.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
You are very wise to leave it alone and allow the man upstairs to handle this. In the past, when you have stepped in, he has always managed to slam dunk you. Now, he doesn't know how to deal with your silence and inactivity. He's got to screw this one up all by himself. He has always been insecured, thus the bully tactics.
As for your daughter, she's stronger than you think. Your son is no longer under his control, therefore, he needs to find another avenue of control. I wonder what will happen after your daughter graduates...who then will he have to beat on?
I do hope that you are taking care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I feel for your daughter, but you are doing the right thing by keeping silent. She sounds tough and able to handle your XH. Not long and she will have won her freedom.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
