Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis He's confused; I'm confused

Did I miss the part where he stated he wanted to work on the marriage, and is taking steps toward reconciliation ?

Cause up till that point, your focus should be entirely on yourself and healing for you.

How much have you read on MLC and its affects on the LBS ?

And the path of the LBS?

I don't know you entire situation , just from what I am reading, it is pretty script for MLC.

Moving forward for you has nothing to do with walking away from him.

Standing doesn't mean standing still either.

That is why you have to focus on what you can control.

MLCers will try to keep you just where they left you, that is part of their confusion.

Try to not get sucked into their vortex of craziness.

The best way to do that is to be you for you.

By tuber I assume you mean the root vegatable variety

or did you mean...

A large brass, barritone instrument and you speak with a South Boston accent?

Poe

Welcome to the funnest not-so-fun place to be.

One thing that is very diificult is to try to explain to people who have NO experience with what you are going through why you choose to do what you're doing.

Their own fear drives their thinking...

OMG! If that happend to me I'd kick his a$$ to the curb!

You derves better!

Why would you want stay with someone who would do that to you?

People are generally cowards...

That is not an insult to people who choose to do something other than what you have chosen.

It is just that it IS easier to do what they tell you you should do.

Isn't it?

People cannot fathom how much courage it takes to make the difficult choice. And...

They have no skin in the game, nothing to lose by giving you this advice.

If they don't support you find new friends...

Quothe the raven...

Nevermore...

Did you go to dinner yet?

I haven't been reading these boards for nothing.

So, best I can tell from reading old posts, he is in a cycle that only myself or OW is going to break. I have already decided that he will have to ask for D if he wants it. No easy way out for him from me. Word has it OW is getting antsy. So, I guess the question has to be: How can I "influence" the breaking of the cycle? Or do I just keep on trying to stay distant(dark doesn't work well with him)and let him work it out? Patience, patience, patience.

I think I need a walk on the beach to ponder....yes as part of GAL & 180, I am at the beach all by myself. Never would have done that before!
Poe

Don't ya love it when we answer our own questions...

You survive one day at a time, one moment at a time ... someone's post today talks about a journey of 3000 miles ... if you can find it you might find it useful ...

What I'm finding helps is narrowing my focus down to one day at a time ... I tend to cycle through a lot less crazy if I don't look into the future - and since I don't have a reliable crystal ball ..... it's a waste of time anyway ...

Peace
PEI

Wrong.

Yes, it's easier to stand with someone beside you to lean on though.
Poe

Poe it is on missherlove's thread today if you are interested posted by Mach.

Right.

He must decide.

You can try to force this BUT

You may get short term compliance and then...

Hello POE welcome back to the best of the worst place to be...

Ewww...

That's gonna hurt.




I need you to be able to...empathize...or be able to put yourself into someone else shoes... like yours about 15 years ago.


Lets say I'm a former best friend of yours, and lately you have been feeling like I've been naggin gthe [censored] out of you and being demanding of your time...basically, you think the friendship is over, but I'm to dense to realize it.

And...you have just met your husband, you just met him, get it? Butterflys and all that [censored], your heart is in your thraot when you think about him, and you call him for no good reason just to hear his voice.

Now...

I'm going to try and break you two up.



How does that work for me?


Am I still in your life?





Do you see the point I am trying to make?