Gosh I fell so much better coming from a venerated poster such as you puppy.
One more thing, and I will give myself a gold star. When mentioning the sexting pictures, she said that she wouldn't do that because I could check. (She still doesn't know I have the conversations from last night mentioning Skype).
I said, "But you have a webcam"
She said "I don't even know how to use Skype with a webcam"
I said: "I never said anything about Skype did I? Why would you say Skype when your laptop has an easy integrated wemcam browser"
DEAD TO RIGHTS. That's when she FINALLY admitted she sex chatted last night, the same day I bared my soul to her and she said she'd at least give me a "fair chance".
She said "I knew I couldn't trust you, I knew you would somehow spy on me or try to find things out. I knew I COULD NOT trust you to give me my privacy during our 'in-house separation'"
Is that part of the script?
Now the question is:
What in the heck do I do next?
It is ALLLLLLL out there now. I mean all out in the open. Is this the "Watch and see period"?
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/09/1003:03 AM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
She said "I knew I couldn't trust you, I knew you would somehow spy on me or try to find things out. I knew I COULD NOT trust you to give me my privacy during our 'in-house separation'"
Is that part of the script?
YES!! They will always blame YOU for your "invading their privacy," rather than take responsibility (or, God forbid, show any remorse) for THEIR irresponsible behavior!
As for what you do next . . . you wait. Let it sit a couple of days, and just GAL. You can then start to get your legal ducks in a row. Have you met with an atty yet? Preferably, a good family law atty who specializes in "men's rights"?
Oh, before I forget, one thing I WOULD recommend you do: firewall your finances. If a wayward spouse is going to deplete family finances, now (right after exposure) is usually the time they will do it.
Ah, no I didn't. I was calm but stern. I confronted her and expressed my deepest hurt and disappointment.
"He went from being nice to such a terrible jerk"
No, I went from taking it laying down to refusing to put up with it anymore.
"He's NEVER going to change"
Incorrect. I have and am changing. Just not the way she'd hope that I would. Not the way in becoming a flatter doormat for her to walk on.
She says she always wanted to be put first. Well her behavior is absolutely destructive, and I showing care for her destructive behavior, regardless of whether she stays with me.
My only worry is that she says "The marriage was over well before I sexted and sex chatted. I had the chance to have actual sex, but I turned it down. I just didn't see it all as a big deal since I knew I was too far gone and that the Marriage couldn't be saved"
Are those statements part of any script? Like the I'm not in love...Need to be loved, or "My Marriage made me do it" types of affairs?
I am correct in assuming I shouldn't believe any of what I hear and only half of what I see.
That guy I messaged actually UNFRIENDED her on FB. She came to me last night and said:
"I know what you did. You logged onto my FB and unfriended someone. I changed all my passwords and sent a friend request, and him and I will be talking again soon."
Thing is, that guy messaged me back and told me he'd block her. She was telling him some INCORRECT things, and she DID NOT tell him I found the nude picture of HIM THAT HE SENT HER. He finally realized (I hope) that she is playing everyone. Or he thinks I would post that pic of him, and he is doing it out of fear. I would NEVER do that, but I think he may think that and he may create a false FB profile to talk to her.
Is this too part of any script?
Lastly, I have not messaged the FIRST guy. The married father who offered to have sex with her. (Instead she sent him a nude pic). I nailed her down about it last night and got the truth, and she said that this was exactly why she was divorcing me. Because I'd risk ruining a family OVER MY PAIN.
She didn't seem to care that she violated ANOTHER marriage, and was only concerned that no one else find out about it.
Should I maybe call him and let him know that I know, but that I will NEVER EVER tell anyone, and that he needs to take a long hard look at himself.
She and him will be in the same place for business NEXT WEEK, and I am thinking I need to throw a wrench in the works of that one.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/09/1012:24 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Yup... start collecting evidence if you need to prove this in court... don't delete anything.. Especially that nude pic of him... She will have to explain to a judge in court why she has that...
She's going to be angry for a while until you start the exposure... If you can get everyone or as many friends and family as you can to REFUSE to accept OM ... EVER... her fantasy world of leaving you and hooking up with this guy will start to shrink...
Once you expose and THAT additional shock hits her, reality will start to slowly creep in...
Before you exposed she was completely immersed in her fantasy world and it was a perfect bubble of indifference to what happened around it... You just shoved a pin in there and she didn't like it.
Yup... start collecting evidence if you need to prove this in court... don't delete anything.. Especially that nude pic of him... She will have to explain to a judge in court why she has that...
But I was wondering is any of this was part of a script? Like I am wondering why her reactions are the way they are.
I am wondering if the FB guy is sincere, or he may change his mind once they talk and she convinces him that I am "psycho" as she put it. She really thinks my behavior is absolutely crazy.
And I am also wondering whether to contact the first guy, the one she works with on business. They will be working together again, and losing this FB affair guy may drive her RIGHT INTO THE OTHER GUY'S ARMS for comfort.
Should I confront him and be PROACTIVE?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
