Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers success stories? saved marriages?

yeah, I see that now, I had read to her from the first chapter of Divorce Remedy, it was just that some of the things she said were word for word in the first few paragraphs, and I'd hoped that it would resonate with her. Plus I know she talks to her mother about this and I was also hoping to let her see that the 'advice' her mom may be giving to her was most likely one sided.

She actually seemed interested, and thanked me for sharing it with her. I could tell it actually made her stop and think that day.

Ive completely backed off any pressure on her, but it just feel like the more 'space' I give her, the more distant she gets from me.

What really sucks is my W was always there for me when I was down, or needed a hug etc, and now I hurt like crazy, and she cringes now at even the thought of hugging me...and man does that hurt!

Ready, I filed and moved out. I was prepared to live out the rest of my life as a single mother. I guess filing says the most about the degree to which I was "Done." I had neither an EA or PA (and nary a prospect).

Coach became the better choice between a life as a single mother or a happily wedded wife when I began to observe strong changes in him. He began "handling" things. I observed him dealing with the kids w/o my help or intercession. He dealt with the house by himself b/c I wasn't there to do it. He moved furniture, planted flowers - he had a life - without me - and he was handling it. Who knew?! At first I was p!ssed. "Why NOW? Why not for the last 19 years!" But then when I had to see him, and he looked sooo good, and smelled so wonderful, and made eye contact, and really listened to me...the walls began to crumble a little, enough, for me to begin to believe again that maybe...just maybe. And the rest is history being written.
Greek

Greek,

I have to ask.

So during this time did Coach ever "flirt" with you or did he appear "done" and had moved on?

This is the type of info WE need you to elaborate on.....Give us details on your POV of OLD COACH/NEW COACH.

Let me gather some thoughts on this so I can give a clear answer, and one that is respectful of Coach, as well.
Cheers ~
Greek

I love this answer adding it to my communication knowledge base.

Looking forward to reading your response....

I am also interested in hearing from coach.

How far did you walk away to draw Greeks attention? Did you call it done? Were you talking to other women?

Ok, for all the sugar-coating and tap-dancing around the facts, the absolute truth is that most of these marriages will not be saved.

I know it hurts, I know it sucks, and I know that I will be shredded here for "being negative" just because I am speaking the truth.

That being said, your best chance of being one of the few success stories depends upon actually using the great advice you will be offered by the following posters: Puppy, Gucci, robx, and Coach. There are others too, Allen in Infidelity being one who I admire greatly.

We're all going to die, too, Kimmie.

Geez.

Greek

I really think it depends how you define success. IMO in EVERY thread (or situation) you can find success stories of individuals. People who have improved, become better people/friends/parents/siblings and have expanded their knowledge base and interests. I define that as a success.. especially when so much of this takes place during a major life crises.

If you are asking of the MAJORITY of marriages are "saved" I would say no, they are not. There are some but I bet even the people who saved their marriages would say they had to look to themselves first.

I didn't save my marriage but I did overcome (or am working to be totally free of it) a panic disorder. I went back to school. Totally revamped my business. Made lots of new friends and learned more than I ever thought possible about myself and R's in general AND survived to tell about it.

As I said...it's all about how you define success IMO.